Bush Uses Magic Words In Attempt To Boost Sagging Ratings

After Bush's approval ratings sunk even lower following his poor handling of the Hurricane Katrina aftermath, and attempts to by his army of conservative media apologists to put the blame on the mayor of New Orleans, the Louisiana governor, Bill Clinton, God, or the liberal welfare state, coupled with low support for the quagmires in Iraq and Afghanistan, which he blamed on Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton and Cindy Sheehan, President Bush gave a speech Thursday night in which he uttered his magic incantation in an attempt to prop up those droopy ratings.
Speaking before a handpicked crowd of war profitteers, political elitists and brainwashed true believers at the National Endowment for Democracy, a fascist front group, Bush thanked those in his administration taking time out of their busy schedules fighting to allow our military to torture people to stand behind him as he began the ritualistic ceremony to his Satanic overlord designed to, as he put it, "Get these darned American people off his back" as he struggled to "build a culture of victimization, in which someone else is to blame and violence is always the solution."
Bush then promised to "use modern technology to increase our destructive power" in his "American war on Islam" intended to "enslave whole nations and intimidate the world." We "target nations whose behavior we believe can change through violence. We will never back down, never give in and never accept anything less than complete victory."
Bush says he intends to tell people "what is good for them and what is not," as he "grew up in wealth and privilige" and has the power to decide what is good for poor Americans is that they join the military to use violence, even though he and his supporters, nor their children have to "go along for the ride."
"Our ideology pursues totalitarian aims, with conservatives prentending to be an aggrieved party, representing the powerless against an imaginary enemy." Bush stated that he has "endless ambitions of imperial domination, and wishes to make everyone powerless, except for ourselves. We seek to end dissent in every form, and to control every aspect of life, and to rule the soul itself, promising a future of justice and holiness, while preparing for a future of opression and misery."
"By fearing freedom, by distrusting human creativity and punishing change, and limiting the contributions of half the population, our ideology undermine the very qualities that make human progress possible and and human societies successful.Our grim vision is defined by a warped image of the past, a declaration of war on the idea of progress itself."
Bush's speech was met with thunderous applause, and all circled closer as Bush and members of the Project For A New Amercian Century began their incantation: "9/11, 9/11, 9/11,9/11." The meeting then ended, with most members rushing to meet with their mistresses, while Bush settled in the back of his Presidential limousine with a fifth of Jim Beam and a couple rails of Peruvian flake.