Thursday, April 29, 2010

Hey! Bill Clinton Has A Good Idea! Let's Shift The Tax Burden Onto the Illegal Immigrants!

Good old Slick Willie. Think how much he has enriched our national dialogue with such pronouncements such "I did not have sex with that woman" and "That depends on what your definition of 'is' is". Now Mr. Clinton has stated that we need to allow more immigrants into this country to pay the taxes to finance the older generation. This from the man who looted Social Security to create a budget surplus. Because, I guess, that these older workers never had children of their own who are now part of the part of the 21% unemployment rate, and we stopped letting people enter the country legally a long time ago.
Wait a minute, didn't Slick Willie promise us that NAFTA, by shipping good paying manufacturing jobs to Mexico, would ease illegal immigration?
Former President Clinton made his statements at a summit convened by the Peter G. Peterson Foundation to discuss ways to deal with the runaway national deficit. Here's an idea. End the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.
But no, this makes sense, increase the tax base, we don't have top cut government spending. Allow enough in and we can bring back those Bush tax cuts! You see, unlike those whiny Teabaggers, who want the government to do everything for them with out actually paying for it, many illegal immigrants pay up at tax time. Mean while, as they flood the labor pool, illegal immigrants will drive down wages, benefittting all them rich guys getting tax cuts because the tax burden has been shifted to the working people of this country. Good Old Slick Willie, he's always looking out for somebody. Unfortunately, it's neither you nor I.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Slate Writer Repeats Iran Lie

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, it's safe to say, is currently incubating several nuclear weapons.....-Jack Shafer, Slate.Com
I'm an old conspiracy theorist, which I may have gotten from my father, who was a member of the John Birch Society, and would have regular meetings at our house showing films painting the Beatles as a communist plot to undermine America's youth by introducing them to wild negro music, effeminate long hair, and recreational drugs. Later, in the seventies, he received newsletters connecting then President Jimmy Carter to Phil Walden and cocaine trafficking. You might say I was born with a tin foil hat on my head.
My latest conspiracy theory is that the US media is running a psyop on the American people, much as it did in the run up to our illegal invasion of Iraq, with the target this time being, of course, Iran. This follows the same pattern of disinformation, designed to create a justification in the mind of television watchers, to garner support for an all out attack against a regime, while not my favorite on Earth, still has not been found to be doing the things that the US government and corporate media are accusing them of doing.
Many conspiracy theories start out from facts, as an instance, the fact that then Congressman Gerald Ford admittedly moved a bullet wound on JFK's official autopsy report to fit the single-shooter "magic bullet" story is the jumping off point for many theorists much the same way that kerosene (jet fuel) and asbestos (which lined much of the World Trade Centers)do not burn hot enough to melt steel frames is the jumping off point for a lot of Truthers who do not believe the "official" conspiracy presented by the government. This is the same government which then used these attacks as an excuse to invade Iraq using the lie that country was somehow involved, all the while aided by a compliant corporate media that, rather investigate any claims put forth, instead repeated them verbatim ad nauseum. But if you see any kind of conspiracy there, you're some kind of whacko!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

What To Do About The Dangerous And Imminent Threat Of Iran?

Like Harry Reid said, Iran is a festering sore, and the US needs to patch up ties with Israel by using the nuclear option on Iran. The US also needs to seek a new round of sanctions against Iran.
To this end, according to VP Joe Biden,Israel agrees to wait for these new round of sanctions before attacking Iran. Let's hope they won't have to apologize for embarrassing Joe Biden again.
But wait a sec here, is Iran actually doing anything wrong? Both the US and Israel have threatened to attack Iran, while Iran has done nothing of the sort. I mean, I know that Secretary Of Defense Robert Gates has claimed Iran was sending fighters and weapons to the Afghanistan, but even US Commander Gen. Stanley McChrystal has stated there's no proof to back up that claim. So what is the reason behind the Obama administration's call for nuclear option against Iran? Iran actually poses no threat to it's neighbors, Europe, or the US. And, more importantly, why is the Obama administration acting and sounding exactly like the Bush administration?

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Scamming Gullible Fox News Viewers Is The Holiest Plan Yet

You can always tell a person by the company they keep, which is why I'm kind of wary of this God person. Just look at some of the unsavory characters he's associated with: pedophile priests and their enablers, Jim and Tammy Faye Baker, Fred Phelps, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and now, Glenn Beck.
Glenn Beck says that God is giving him a plan, which is suspect in itself. Shouldn't he sell Glenn Beck his plan? After all, giving stuff away is akin to socialism, and Glenn beck is totally opposed to socialism. I mean, when Glenn Beck finally receives God's complete plan, is he going to give it away? No, he's going to put it in a book and sell it, because nothing is for free.
This why if this God person exists, I don't really trust him because he gave away a potential fortune to a man who raped and murdered a girl in 1990. Why would he give a plan to somebody that only Fox News viewers believe and trust? An all powerful god would be able to send the message to everyone on earth, simultaneously. Right?

Sunday, April 18, 2010

See, I Can Be As Specious As You, Mr Limpballs

It takes a special person to know what God wants, because God wants whatever that special person wants, ironically. Like the good Reverend Fred Phelps. Because God, and Fred, hates fags, that means that US soldiers die in Iraq (instead of being impervious to enemy bullets and bombs). The reasoning may specious, but when your followers are thick headed and dull, you can get them to believe anything.
And that's where religion comes from. In ancient times, any natural disaster could be attributed to a god that was in sync with whatever tribal leaders wanted. This tradition still carries on to this day among the faithful, with the damage inflicted on New Orleans by Hurricane Katrina being explained by the Holiest of a-holes Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell blaming it on god's displeasure with the annual gay pride celebration taking place there. (Of course, when a tornado rips through a trailer park in the Bible Belt, these same people remain silent.) Of course, science has come along to explain why most of these occur, which is why the faithful revile science, because it shows them up as the dopes they are.
Natural disasters and such have always been harbingers of doom. Comets, for instance, have always foretold end times from Halley's Comet to the Heaven's Gate mass suicide to join the spacecraft following the Hale-Bopp comet. Earthquakes, such as the recent Haitian one, were attributed to a deity displeased with the locals consorting with devils hundreds of years ago. Even the recent eruption of Eyjafjallajokull in Iceland is now seen by some as a sign of the end times.
Following in that same ancient grand tradition of high priests attributing disasters to behavior displeasing to them, Rush Limbaugh, he of the Holy Viagra and Vicodin, High Priest of The Party of NO, has proclaimed the volcanic ash cloud from that same eruption as God's punishment for Health Care Reform. Who knew? God wants us all to get sick and die, the sooner we can join him in Heaven. Darn those Democrats for impeding the will of god!! (One could be just as specious and claim it was because the reform lacked any kind of public option) And now, the infamous doctor shopper will find it harder to break the law to get his prescription fix, I'm sure, and that's why his god is angry.
The volcanic ash has prevented President Obama from flying to Poland to attend that country's president's funeral. because, I guess, god doesn't want a Muslim attending a Christian burial service. In fact, all flights over Europe have been canceled, which is actually good for us, since most terrorists flying into this country depart from over there, thereby making us safer from further terrorists attacks. Thank you Democratic Party, and thank you President Obama for protecting this country.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

It's clear The Adults Have Abandoned The Republicans

It's official. In the nearly four hundred years that this country has been settled by Puritans, nothing has really changed at all. back then, they saw witches everywhere, now, the poor put upon and persecuted Christians see Muslims everywhere.
Now we have these paranoiacs, who obviously only remember the part of the Bill of Rights that allows them to keep weapons to shoot each other with, have forgotten that whole freedom of religion thing. I don't give a fuck if President Obama is a Muslim (which, he's not)because our country is not based on any theological practice (although there are those who would like to see it that way). like the Nazis who saw signs of Judaism everywhere, the conservatives of the US are seeing signs of Islam, or wanting to see it, everywhere.
I swear, sometimes our whole political process has been taken over by a bunch of third graders. Republicans criticize Democrats, liberals hate conservatives and nobody notices that for the better part of the last century into this one, both parties have been running things. And with the exception of a few Jewish candidates here and there, for the most part, they have all been Christian. And what or where has that got us? Mired down in two never ending wars, rampant unemployment hidden by government figures, on the brink of a global depression, global warming, etc. All this polarized petty partisan bickering isn't solving anything. There's nothing civil about any of it. It's just name calling and blame throwing.
And I'm just sick of it all.

Monday, April 12, 2010

When All Else Fails, Blame The Jews

Last week on Real Time with Bill Maher, Green day lead singer Billie Joel Armstrong stated "Religion is a bunch of bullshit", had this been another time, that statement may have been shocking, but these days, well as Jane's Addiction once stated "nothing's shocking".
Certainly not like in the sixties. At the height of their popularity, John Lennon told an interviewer: "Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right. We're more popular than Jesus now; I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity. Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me."
Of course, then all people heard was some self-important rock star claiming to be more bigger than Jesus, but that and some indiscriminate use of recreational drugs led the Vatican to condemn the Fab Four. But now, what with the half the clergy molesting children while the other half cover it up, drug use and boastful statements seem small, and so in a bid for forgiveness itself, The Vatican has forgiven John Lennon and the Beatles.
And hey, why not? The Beatles can't really be held responsible for their statements, they were under the influence of psychedelic drugs. And a Jewish manager. Why, did you know that this whole pedophile scandal and subsequent criticism of the church can be blamed on the Jews? Not a favorable position for a Church led by a former member of the Hitler Youth, but there are enough anti-semites in the world who like to blame the Jews for everything else, why not throw them under the bus for this as well?

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Banned by The Thought Police Nazis At Cracked.Com

I don't know how or when I discovered the craptions contest at Cracked.Com, but one thing I noticed when I did was the lack of funny material being offered up by the readers therein. Most of the jokes were of the FAIL/Lady Gaga/Gay variety, and few, if any, were anywhere near being humorous. Now, I consider myself to be a funny guy, so this seemed right up my alley.
The premise is this: the editors/administrators offer a picture and encourage readers to come up with a funny caption for it. The kind of stuff you may have done in high school, which is reflected in the mentality of many posts. Some people will use a catch phrase from a movie or Monty Python routine, whether or not it actually is funny in this situation. Then, once the phrase is offered, all registered users get to vote on it as being funny, and the one that garners the most votes over a twenty-four hour period is the winner.
The image below is one from last week, along with my submitted craption. Please note that the earlier you get your craption in, the more likely it will win, as the chance for others to see it is directly in conjunction with the number of votes it receives, because the ones with the higher votes are displayed at the top, along with the current vote leader. This particular submission by me was very popular, and didn't take long to rise to the top, where it was receiving the largest number of votes.

When I first viewed the picture, it reminded me of photos I had seen of the showers in Nazi Concentration Camps, where, once the gas was released, the victims would climb over each other to reach the fresh air at the top. Kind of like in this sculpture. So, connecting the two, I made my submission. By early evening, it was rapidly on it's way to becoming one of the highest vote-getters ever recorded. By nine o'clock, however, it was gone, deleted, deemed too offensive to readers who regularly use racist, homophobic and other disgusting words in an attempt to be funny.
What it meant was that the number two vote getter vaulted to the top, and while I voted for that one as well (Rapture gridlock), it didn't ease the sting of my loss. So, the very next day, regardless of the picture, I submitted the following craption
"Yeah, I was going to post some thing funny here, but the Thought Police Nazis at Cracked.Com would just delete it". Once again, it rose quickly to the number two position. And, once again, by nine o'clock, it was gone. But, even more disappointing, so was my profile at Cracked.Com. I had been banned from ever writing craptions, or voting on others craptions as well. I really think that a humor magazine web site would have a sense of humor, but I guess I was wrong. FAIL!

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

It's A McCain Thing, You Wouldn't Understand, But Then, Neither Does He

Arizona senator and former Republican presidential candidate told Newsweek recently "I never considered myself a maverick".
What McCain appparently considered considering himself was a Jeep, so he could appropriate "It's a McCain thing, you wouldn't understand", until an aide told him Jeep was a registered trademark of the Daimler-Chrysler Corporation.
"What I really meant to say," the mentally faltering politican stated, "was that I'm a 1969 Dodge Dart Swinger. Vroom!"
Aside from the missing McCain maverick meme, also conspicuous in it's absence was one-time Republican political operative Joe "Remember Me?" The Plumber Wurzelbacher who doesn't want anything to do with Sen. McCain. "He messed up my life," Wurzelbacher claimed, "Made me record a shitty country music album, ghost wrote my book then told people not to buy it, told me not to pay $1,182 in taxes to the state of Ohio, and cock blocked me when I was trying to nail Sarah Palin." So much for personal responsibility.
Of course, being a maverick means that sometimes you vote with the opposition, and in these days of super-mega-hyper-polarized politics, that doesn't fly. So, at the risk of looking more ridiculous than he looked two years ago, McCain has once again lost himself in his quest for office.

Monday, April 05, 2010

Gullibility Illustrated

Jesus has given us many things. The brightly colored eggs and jellybeans of Easter. The bright lights on evergreen trees surrounded by colorfully wrapped presents of Christmas.
But he has also brought us more wonderous things. Burning heretics at the stake. Institutionalized pedophilia. Kirk Cameron.
And, of course, the Rapture. The Rapture is an interpretation of the Bible by dispensationalists who feel that certain things must happen in order for Christians to be lifted up to the Heavens (good riddance) and the rest of the world to live in peace, but is never mentioned in the Bible. It's a secret Rapture only the truly saved (read:brainwashed) know about.
How brainwashed? Well, watch this video of a prank played on one unsuspecting and trusting soul, and you will understand that just because dispensationalists believe in war, hate and killing, doesn't mean that they don't have a sense of humor.

Ha! Funny or what?

Sunday, April 04, 2010

It Would Be Better If We Paid You No Mind At All

One of the greatest problems facing our country is the fact that our foreign policy is decided on not what's best for America, but instead, on what's not best for America.
Take stark raving neocon Billy Kristol. He claims it would be better for the US to attack Iran than Israel. Better for Israel, that is. Ultimately, it would be better for no one to attack Iran, since they actually haven't been found to be doing thing which violates any law, but reasoning with a neocon is impossible, because they make their own reality, and insane people are impossible to rationalize with in any debate.
Kristol, it should be noted, was one the loudest voices calling for an attack against Iraq, but there's no use beating that dead horse. He is probably the last person anyone should listen to regard US foreign policy in the Middle East, but it doesn't stop the corporate media from putting him on anyway.
But there is a whole list of things that it would be better for America to do first.
As an example, it would be better if the US government would stop breaking it's own laws, and obey the Symington Amendment. The fact that both major parties seem to disregard this law is an apt illustration of why we need to dump them both in favor of a party that actually obeys laws instead of bowing to powerful lobbies.
It would be better if politicians ran as a friend of all Americans instead of as a friend of another country. The US should not be playing favorites with any country in the Middle east, especially one with so many UN violations against it.
It would be better for the US, already mired down in two wars-without-end, to not start a third one that will endanger more of our troops and cause the loss of more American lives. It would be better for the US not to be seen as an agressor in a region where many people already have developed a negative opinion of us. It would be better if we didn't needlessly harm more civilians tha the over one million Iraqis we have already killed in a genocide designed to calm Billy Kristol's paranoia.
The cost of the Iraq War is already three trillion dollars, another war in the region isn't going to be any cheaper. It would be better for the US if that money, on top of the $1.6 trillion in aid were reinvested in this country to rebuild our economy.
And in the end, it would be better for Mr. Kristol, wealthy publisher of The Weakly Standard and paid Fox News commentator, to buy his own fighter jet and fly it over to Iran himself. But unfortunately, Mr. Kristol hasn't met a war somebody else's kids lives couldn't be spent fighting so Mr. Kristol continue to be a drain on society by advocating US involvement in wars it would be better off not fighting.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Which Side Is Naomi Wolf On?

"Their views of liberals are just as distorted as ours are of conservatives."-Naomi Wolf
Gulp! Did author Naomi Wolf just admit to sympathy with the Teabaggers? How can the bastion of liberal journalism, lauded by the left for her book, The End of America, which describes the US's fall into Fascism under the Bush administration, be on the same page as the knuckle-dragging cavemen of the Patriot movement who only know two buttons on their television remotes?
There is also a deliberate building up of two camps that benefits from whipping up home team spirit and demonizing the opposition. With the Internet there is even more fractioning since we are in echo chambers. With so much propaganda it is hard to calm down enough to listen. Of course, you can't talk to a wingtard; They all watch and believe Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh. They never had a problem with the Patriot Act, or Guantanamo Bay, or 'enhanced interrogation' techniques under Bush, it's only when President Obama continues them that they worry about Fascism. Besides, I feel much better with my Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow, thank you very much.
And they call Obamacare Socialism! Don't they know that the individual mandate is actually a Republican giveaway to corporations (Only right wingers think the reason people don't have health insurance is because they don't want it, not because they can't afford it) Sure the bill is flawed, but a step towards a more corporate union is better when it's initiated by the Democrats, right?
I was basically saying don’t sit around waiting for the two corrupted established parties to restore the Constitution or the Republic. The founding generation was birthed by the rabble of all walks of life that got fed up and did risky things because they were captivated by the breath of liberty. There is a looming oligarchy and it is up to the people to organize a grassroots movement and push back. Wait a minute! Aren't DINOs better than Republicans, because without them, we wouldn't have our majority and the capacity to fix things, or at least the things that our rich corporate masters will allow us to fix, as long as they get to squeeze us for every penny in our pocket?
Sure, it's feels better to point the finger at the other team while the whole country is losing, but unless people realize that our government has been stolen from us by large corporations who don't care about anything but stock prices and year end bonuses. By using wedge issues in the corporate media, as well as polarizing politicians, they keep people not voting for things, but against things, including, our own best interests.