Thanks, Idiot, Now Go Be Snarky Somewhere Else (And Check Your Facts)

That annoying squeaky voice. That smug self-satisfied delivery. That errant speech pattern. The complete disconnection from the truth. No, I'm not talking about Glenn Beck, but Sarah Palin who said at the "Restoring Honor" rally on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, activists must honor King's legacy by paying tribute to the men and women who protect America in uniform.
Huh? That don't make no sense!
You see, Dr. King opposed the Viet Nam War, as well as imperialistic US military action that diverted money and attention from domestic programs created to aid the poor blacks. Civil rights and antiwar are King's true legacy, not the celebration of the neocons imperialistic aim to inflict US based global hegemony.
In fact, it was that opposition to capitalism that led to his assassination by a conspiracy that included agencies of the US government. But Palin would never read that in the history books of the corporate idiocracy. Those tell us Dr. King was a great man, without detailing too much what he was really about, since economic, social and racial equality makes some people nervous.
And since were on the subject, how are our 'men and women who protect America in uniform' (shouldn't that be 'our men and women in uniform who protect America'?) restoring honor to our country? Neither the 34,000 civilians deaths inAfghanistan nor the 1,366,350 civilian deaths in Iraq were any sort of threat to our country. And their deaths have done nothing to 'restore America's honor', in fact, it's just the opposite. And how are they any different than the 'honor killings' alleged to by professional Islamophobe Pamela Geller?
Restoring America's Honor and honoring Dr. King's legacy would be easy. All it would take is a slight shift in our foreign policy. But getting a couple of thousand television watchers off their couch is a good start.

The Real Housewives Of The Tea Party

Poor Sam Wurzelbacher! I guess you are not wanted in the new Tea Party, which formed it's own caucus today in congress. To quote caucus leader Michele Bachmann:

the newly formed group will provide a voice in Congress for "real housewives, real farmers, real businessmen, real plumbers."

Not those one-time plumber, now full time metacelebrity wannabes. I just hope that when she says "real housewives" she doesn't mean the reality television show.
Now I'm not saying that the members of the Tea Party are slow, but when you fall for a three year old news story from The Onion, you do come across as gullible. And totally unaware that your movement has been co-opted by the Republican Party and a second rate Howard Beale.

I Thought America Won It's Independence From High Prices

It's about time we faced up to the fact that the United States is a corporate idiocracy. Large multi-nationals beam mind numbing drivel into our homes featuring meta-celebrities in voyeuristic situations and call it reality. We are rapidly becoming a nation of slack-jawed mouth breathing window lickers who haven't read a book since they got out of school and couldn't locate Afghanistan on a map, let alone give a clear concise reason why we need to spend another $33 billion there.
How do I know? More than twenty five percent of Americans couldn't tell you from whom we won our independence. So where does these mentally challenged people emanate from? I mean, they can't all come from the Tea party, as they only comprise 18% of the population, but it is nearly as many Americans who think that Sarah Palin resigned as governor because it was the right thing to do for Alaska (which in a way, it was).
To some, the dumbing down of the United States isn't happening quick enough. There's only so many episodes of Jersey Shore that you can get people to watch. So to help ease this country into a more acceptable moronic state, Glenn Beck has plans for an university ('magic underpants' not included). This exclusive chance to be taught revisionist history by avowed theocrats is available exclusively to subscribers of Beck's Insider Extreme, a website devoted to fleecing the sheep to line Glenn Beck's pockets. Once you pass this course, Glenn Beck doesn't promise you'll get a job from it, only that you'll be as confused politically as he is, just what you need when you're working your new job, wrangling shopping carts in a Wal-Mart parking lot.
(Cross posted at American Insurgency)

Scamming Gullible Fox News Viewers Is The Holiest Plan Yet

You can always tell a person by the company they keep, which is why I'm kind of wary of this God person. Just look at some of the unsavory characters he's associated with: pedophile priests and their enablers, Jim and Tammy Faye Baker, Fred Phelps, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and now, Glenn Beck.
Glenn Beck says that God is giving him a plan, which is suspect in itself. Shouldn't he sell Glenn Beck his plan? After all, giving stuff away is akin to socialism, and Glenn beck is totally opposed to socialism. I mean, when Glenn Beck finally receives God's complete plan, is he going to give it away? No, he's going to put it in a book and sell it, because nothing is for free.
This why if this God person exists, I don't really trust him because he gave away a potential fortune to a man who raped and murdered a girl in 1990. Why would he give a plan to somebody that only Fox News viewers believe and trust? An all powerful god would be able to send the message to everyone on earth, simultaneously. Right?

Just When You Think He Couldn't Get Any Stupider, Glenn Beck Proves You Wrong

Welcome to the New McCarthyism. Paranoid personality disorder Glenn Beck sees anti-Americanism everywhere. He rants and rants against voices that are disparate and different from his own, people who haven't had it as easy as himself.
And sometimes, he has to go back, way back, almost twenty five years, before he can find something for himself to get himself into a tizzy over.
Case in point: Bruce Springsteen's song, 'Born In The USA', is anti American. No fucking shit. Well, it's not as anti-American as much as it is critical of a system that creates endless wars, inescapable debt, corporate prisons and no hope for working people. And it's the same song that twenty five years ago the sainted Ronald Reagan wanted to use as his campaign theme song. And now he just listened to the lyrics? Good thing he's not in charge of Homeland Security.
It's all part of the ongoing class war where the haves criticize the have-nots for not being happy with the crumbs they are being offered. Everything Beck rails against, health care reform, social and economic justice, are all the concerns of the people who work hard and are compensated poorly for their sweat. All so a useless corporate shill like Beck can interpret twenty-five year old rock music written by musicians opposed to the repressive agenda of the corporatocracy.

The Philosophical Disparity Between Glenn Beck And Reality

Today at work, I was told by a customer that if I did not offer a fish entree tomorrow, I was going to Hell.
Sure, I thought, right after I visit the Merry Old Land of Oz.
For centuries the church has been a source of brainwashing of it's followers, from "don't eat meat on Friday during Lent" to "don't vote for a homosexual baby killer Democrat". It's worked because, as George Carlin once said, once you get people to believe in an invisible man in the sky, you can get them to believe anything. As long as it's approved by by Glenn Beck.
So if your church begins to preach the teachings of Jesus Christ, you know love thy neighbors, and all that crap that Christians rarely take to heart, "run as fast as you can. Social justice and economic justice, they are code words. Now, am I advising people to leave their church? Yes!". (Don't worry, Glenn. Your magic underwear will protect you from thoughts of social and economic justice.)
Now we see the rights plans laid bare: they oppose justice in any form. The social programming language of capitalist authoritarianism seeks to activate personal greed, intellectual insecurity and visceral racism as motivators of guided popular political reaction. So even though the basis for Christianity is kindness and sharing, if your pastor mentions social or economic justice, he's a commie. Or a Nazi. All you really need to know, beyond the philosophical disparity between the two, is Glenn Beck has done the thinking for you, and has decided that they're both really bad. And besides, those people who call for economic and social justice are, you know, those people. And if those people are in your church, better run as fast as you can, because there is no difference between, say, the Lutherans and the Baptists. Really.