Scamming Gullible Fox News Viewers Is The Holiest Plan Yet

You can always tell a person by the company they keep, which is why I'm kind of wary of this God person. Just look at some of the unsavory characters he's associated with: pedophile priests and their enablers, Jim and Tammy Faye Baker, Fred Phelps, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and now, Glenn Beck.
Glenn Beck says that God is giving him a plan, which is suspect in itself. Shouldn't he sell Glenn Beck his plan? After all, giving stuff away is akin to socialism, and Glenn beck is totally opposed to socialism. I mean, when Glenn Beck finally receives God's complete plan, is he going to give it away? No, he's going to put it in a book and sell it, because nothing is for free.
This why if this God person exists, I don't really trust him because he gave away a potential fortune to a man who raped and murdered a girl in 1990. Why would he give a plan to somebody that only Fox News viewers believe and trust? An all powerful god would be able to send the message to everyone on earth, simultaneously. Right?

See, I Can Be As Specious As You, Mr Limpballs

It takes a special person to know what God wants, because God wants whatever that special person wants, ironically. Like the good Reverend Fred Phelps. Because God, and Fred, hates fags, that means that US soldiers die in Iraq (instead of being impervious to enemy bullets and bombs). The reasoning may specious, but when your followers are thick headed and dull, you can get them to believe anything.
And that's where religion comes from. In ancient times, any natural disaster could be attributed to a god that was in sync with whatever tribal leaders wanted. This tradition still carries on to this day among the faithful, with the damage inflicted on New Orleans by Hurricane Katrina being explained by the Holiest of a-holes Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell blaming it on god's displeasure with the annual gay pride celebration taking place there. (Of course, when a tornado rips through a trailer park in the Bible Belt, these same people remain silent.) Of course, science has come along to explain why most of these occur, which is why the faithful revile science, because it shows them up as the dopes they are.
Natural disasters and such have always been harbingers of doom. Comets, for instance, have always foretold end times from Halley's Comet to the Heaven's Gate mass suicide to join the spacecraft following the Hale-Bopp comet. Earthquakes, such as the recent Haitian one, were attributed to a deity displeased with the locals consorting with devils hundreds of years ago. Even the recent eruption of Eyjafjallajokull in Iceland is now seen by some as a sign of the end times.
Following in that same ancient grand tradition of high priests attributing disasters to behavior displeasing to them, Rush Limbaugh, he of the Holy Viagra and Vicodin, High Priest of The Party of NO, has proclaimed the volcanic ash cloud from that same eruption as God's punishment for Health Care Reform. Who knew? God wants us all to get sick and die, the sooner we can join him in Heaven. Darn those Democrats for impeding the will of god!! (One could be just as specious and claim it was because the reform lacked any kind of public option) And now, the infamous doctor shopper will find it harder to break the law to get his prescription fix, I'm sure, and that's why his god is angry.
The volcanic ash has prevented President Obama from flying to Poland to attend that country's president's funeral. because, I guess, god doesn't want a Muslim attending a Christian burial service. In fact, all flights over Europe have been canceled, which is actually good for us, since most terrorists flying into this country depart from over there, thereby making us safer from further terrorists attacks. Thank you Democratic Party, and thank you President Obama for protecting this country.

See? Another Token Gesture By The Cultural Elite

In yesterday's post, I referred to "Earth Hour" as one of those token gestures by the cultural elite. While everybody else was turning off their lights in an effort to save the planet, the king of the global warming climate change cult kept his lights on. It's not bad enough that Al Gore's home uses twenty times more energy as the average household, but when it was time to put his money where his mouth is, he showed me that, well really his quest for reducing his carbon footprint is a s real as his quest for manbearpig. You have to make sacrifices so that the cultural elite can continue their consumptive ways.
Now, I do think that it's important that people make an effort to cut the crap out of their lives. But, as I said, to only do it one day a year because of some corporate sponsored event that they can use to improve their image, write it off on their taxes or use as a basis for some carbon trading scam is ridiculous.