Sunday, October 30, 2005

No More Cheap Oil

On May O2, 2002, George W Bush flew on to the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln emboldened with a banner reading "Mission: Accomplished". Twenty days later, on May 22, he sealed the deal by signing an executive order decreeing all future Iraqi oil sales were to be conducted in dollars as opposed to the euro.
You see, Saddam, in November of 2000, decided he was going to sell the oil in his country for euros, not dollars. What that meant to the US is that we could no longer print up as many dollars as we needed to purchase his oil, but had to buy euros to make oil transactions. Which means our dollars had to be worth something, since we went of the gold standard in 1972. We have nothing to export, all our hard goods are made in China or some third world country.
So defense contractors, such as Westinghouse (which owns CBS) and General Electric (which owns NBC) were given lots of money for munitions to blow the fuck out of Iraq. Shock and Awe. Then billions went to Dick Cheney's company Halliburton to rebuild the country we just blew the piss out of. All of these companies are big Republican party donors.
Now it came to reward W's oil company buddies. And boy have they been rewarded. One oil behemoth just posted record profits for this last quarter. This means that when they jacked up oil prices following the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, that they hadn't paid more money for the oil, they knew that they had the American idiot over an oil barrel and could pretty much charge whatever they wanted with out impunity as their man was in the White House and you just know he's not going to do anything about it. Yes, because we have to drive anywhere we need to go, we must bend over and grab our ankles while they supply the petroleum jelly.
Sen. Bill Frist has said he plans to look into this, but my cynical mind thinks that his response is just a deflection from charges against him. It probably is just a shakedown attempt designed to fill Republican coffers for the coming 2006 elections.

United States: Violent Extremists

In recent speeches, President Bush has compared terorists to Hitler and Stalin. Of course, only the truly brainwashed or brain damaged monkeys would believe this, for if you really do some comparisons, you'd see that George Bush has turned the United States in to a hybrid version of Nazi Germany and Stalinist Russia.
In 1939, Hitler proclaimed that Poland, a vastly inferior army to the Nazi war machine, was planning on invading Germany. The SS has staged a phony invasion using twelve prisoners from Buchenwald dressed in Polish Army Uniforms. This was all the excuse he needed to strike at Poland before they struck at Germany. In the build up to the Iraqi war, the Bush administration, using forged documents acquired from Italy under very questionable circumstances through the OSP to state that Saddam had a nuclear weapon program and could strike at us in forty five minutes. He stated that Saddam had ties to alqeada and had links to 9/11. All this was false information that Bush used to justify a pre-emptive strike, which is illegal under international law, making The Unuited States more like Nazi Germany than those regimes it seeks to change.
In 1937, following three years of purges designed to rid Russia of all perceived enemies, Josef Stalin made torture the official and usual means of extracting confessions. Many times people confessed to crimes they did not commit to stop the torture, other times family members were tortured as suspects watched. Sometimes they were tortured to death. This is why, during the Cold War, the Soviet Union was perceived as the "Evil Empire" by the US, as none of these people were granted due process such as we are privilige to in the United States.
The United States now has entered into the same area for which we condemned Communist Russia as the use of torture has become the official policy of the Bush Administration, not only violating the 14th amendment, but the
War Crimes Act of 1996 as well. This essentially makes those in the Bush Administration who advocate it, as well as those who implement it, war criminals, subject to life imprisonment.
The United States has always held itself up as the model of democracy for the world. The rule of law is a fundamental principle of democracy. We now have leaders who have placed themselves above the law, violating not only the War Crimes Act of 1996, but Title 18 United States Code Sections 793 &794. We can not condemn Saddam for using torture when in fact we are using torture ourselves. Once we begin to act like the evil that permeates the globe, we ourselves become a party to that evil. American adherence to ideals has always been what made this country great, not our military might, which should only be used to protect that idealism. When we give up our principles, and when we use violent extremes to maintain a role in the world not ordained by the Constitution, we become as evil as those we are seeking to eradicate.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Why Did We Go To Iraq?

A report in the New York Times states that Vice-President Dick (Head) Cheney was the source of the leak in the Valerie Plame leak. And they should know since their reporter Judy Miller was part of the White House Iraq Group, intent on going to Iraq and selling the war to the American people. Their were 27 different reasons given by the Bush administration as to why went to Iraq.
The real reasons were given by retired Air Force colonel Karen Kwiatkowski in a number of speeches given at the University of Virginia, Charlottesville and Virginia Tech as well as the Appalachian Law Center.
According to Kwiatkowski, sanction and contaiment against Saddam following the first Gulf War were working too well. Many countries around the world were working preparing to do business with Iraq, once the sanctions had lifted. The US and Uk, who had ben bombing Saddam since 1991 were in no position to do business with Saddam in post sanctions Iraq.
Another reason was that Saddam decided in November 2000 to sell oil in his oil for food program in euros as opposed to dollars. When the sanctions were to be lifted, Saddam would be selling his oil in euros, not dollars. The US can print up as many dollars as it wants to buy oil, but we must buy euros. So, in effect, Saddam had cut us off from his oil supply. No more cheap oil.
Of course there were other mitigating factors you can read about here , or you can continue to scratch your head like a brain damaged monkey and pretend that the Bush administration was right, even though they committed treason to protect those lies. Never trust a man who speaks out of the side of his mouth.

Monday, October 24, 2005

America The Bully

When the US invaded Iraq, President Bush gave numerous reasons as to why it was necessary to attack a country that was not a threat to the US. He has tried on numerous occassions to link Saddam's regime to 9/11, even though there is no evidence that this was true. He tried to tie Saddam with alQieda, even though they were diametrically opposed. He said that Saddam was developing weapons of mass destruction, citing decades old intelligence and forged documents to make his case.
Saddam's regime was weakened following the first Gulf War and was forced to give up his chemical and biological weapons programs under the watchful eye of the UN. His people were suffering under economic sanctions placed on Iraq by the US and UK following the Gulf War. Quite simply, Saddam posed no threat to his neighbors or the United States. So why did we attack him?
Simply put, America has become the bully of the world, attacking defenseless countries with no real army to think of to steal the vital natural resources we need to grease the wheels of our hegemonic war machine. Often times, as in Somolia, we go under the guise of humanitarian purpose, but the real reason is the oil. In the Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism, we have become the most violent of extremists, even tossing away the ideals that this country was founded on so we can torture Iraqis for parking violations. We are fighting against an insurgency, people who resent an illegal occupation of it's land by a foreign oppressor.
Bullies always pick on the weak, those unable to fight back, which is why we haven't gone after North Korea, they actually have the weapons of mass destruction. No, we're content to pick on countries like Iran, whose army's equiptment is twenty five years old (and acquired from the US in an arms for hostages deal) and whose only crime, aside from wishing to build a nuclear power plant, is they happen to be sitting atop a bunch of oil.
We have become the nation that our Founding Fathers based their ideals against. The Bush Doctrine, which goes completely against the Monroe Doctrine, seems to be geared towards imperial designs, which opposes the ideals of the Founding Fathers. Couple that together with the Constitutional ban on cruel and unusual punishment and you'll find the Bush Administration, which has threatened to veto a bill co-authored by Sen. John McCain banning the use of torture, and it's supporters as being the most anti-American idealists ever to run this country. Right wing whack jobs like Ann Coulter call for the ban of free speech and Republicans applaud her. It only stands to reason that if they intend to okay the torture of parking violators in Iraq, it's only a matter of time before they allow it here.
Our country has become the Fascist state that we fought against in WWII, only the truly brain damaged or brainwashed couldn't see the flag waving propaganda as another cog in the Bush reich war machine. But it's okay, we're a superpower.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Ann Coulter: Media Whore

Recently, Conservative psychopath Ann Coulter spoke to a group of Florida Republicans , who managed to cough up the $30,000 speaking engagement fee. One wonders how many workers were layed off so the bastards could give themselves the bonuses to afford to donate to the cause. Ms. Coulter, author of the book "Treason" gave the audience an example of what she was talking about when she suggested doing away with the First Amendment, which was met by thunderous applause by the crowd.
Yes, all these super patriots you see all over the corporate media, as well as their corporate sponsors aren't really the patriots they claim to be, which is unsettling as they are the ones in power and committing crimes from Texas to Iraq. The people who blew the whole Clinton-Lewinsky affair out of proportion are now asking that the American people ignore the treacherous Bush administrations involvement in the Plame-gate case. Anyone who dare point out that the basis for the outing of an intelligence agent, a crime under US Code 18, section 793 & 794, was in retaliation for said agents husband pointing out obvious forgeries used to justify an illegal pre-emptive strike against a sovereign nation, is not as patriotic as those who gleefully lied to the American people to send their sons and daughters into a never ending quagmire where the death toll is creeping up on 2000 dead US soldiers, not to mention the hundreds of thousands of uncounted civilian casualties.
And all of this is just "background noise", along with a faltering econmy due to rising gas prices as well as outsourcing over the borders of hundreds of thousands of American jobs, an incompetently run government of cronyism, and ethically challenged Republicans (a redundancy?)facing indictments for numerous scandals to a President more focused on starting more wars in the Middle East than he is on serving the American people.
Basically, Ms. Coulter is a overpaid Conservative lapdancer, taking money from fat rich white businesmen to hang out with them and say the kind of things they wish they could say but are afraid to. It doesn't matter that what she says is inconsistent , either to true conservativism or what she said the week before, the only thing that matters is that she's able to spout her venom regularly enough to keep the money from speaking engagements rolling in. One wonders if they still would keep rolling in if she went off Atkins and wore longer skirts.

Monday, October 17, 2005

How Do You Explain This To Your Children?

Back in the Clinton Administration, there was a lot of self-righteous indignation from Republican conservatives vis-a-vis the Lewinsky Affair. You remember, "How do I explain this to my children when they ask about it?" How do you explain an over-zealous prosecutor, who, after spending millions of dollars investigating a shady land deal, finally had decided to interrogate a sitting President about an affair between two consenting adults that had nothing to do with the original investigation? (Something to keep in mind as conservative pundits try to limit the scope of the Valerie Plame affair) The only crime was when the prosecutor put the president under oath and asked the president point blank about the affair, the moron lied about it, leading to his being impeached.
Now we have the Bush administration committing many crimes from lying to the country about the need to go to war, to the treasonous outing of an intelligence official in retaliation for her husband blowing the whistle on some obviously forged document. But, in my estimation, the most heinous crime is this:
How do you explain to your children that the official policy of the Bush administration is torture of innocent Iraqis. Why are they being tortured? They know that Saddam had no WMD, yet for some sick reason, they tortured Iraqis, some, like this one, to death. Other times, we just torture children in front of their parents to get their parents to admit to something we know doesn't exist. And I know some of you try to pin it on scapegoats like Lynndie Englund, but if it is not an official policy of the Bush administration, why is Bush fighting a bill passed by the Senate to outlaw further torture of detainees?
Yesterday, as I took a walk with my sons, my oldest picked up an apple off the ground. A few steps later, he found a thorn bush and picked a thorn from it. A little bit later, he began to poke the apple with the thorn, saying, "Dad, this is an Iraqi-"
Now I know he didn't get that from me, so I explained to him that the United States is the bad guy in Iraq. We are there illegally, in defiance of the UN and international law. Iraq was no threat to the United States, and all the claims made against them by the Bush administration were, in fact, a lie. The people we are fighting there are the citizens of that country, repelling a foreign invader intent on stealing their oil to enrich a few billionaires in this country. Sure, we all get cheap oil from it but when you consider all the death to the Iraqis and American forces there because the Commander-in-Chief and all his cronies are greedy heartless bastards, the cost isn't worth it.
Because we aren't just stealing the oil. We are smearing the good name of the US by torturing civilians as policy. This violates the Geneva conventions, as well as the Constitution, and we haven't gained any thing from it. The fighting still goes on. We are fighting to save our sorry currency because politicians have been slowly selling out the American people. They have sold out labor. Now they are intent on selling out the middle class. And the American idiot goes along with it because they think someday, they'll be rich.
You won't be rich when the housing bubble bursts. You'll be stuck paying for a house that was overvalued when you refinanced it, but when the bubble bursts, you won't even be able to pay off the mortgage if you sell it, because it won't be worth the same. You won't be rich when peak oil hits. Remember how you cried when gas prices started to creep up in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina? When peak oil hits, you'll be lucky to have a job.
Well, you might get a job working security for all those gated communities where the rich people do live. Or, possibly, you could join the armed forces, where you will be asked to torture people. There will always be wars of conquest for oil, with Syria, Iran and Venezuela on the drawing boards. And, amazingly enough, the same lies will be used to sucker the American idiot in to supporting them. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me, can't get fooled again.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Another Example Of Why This Country Is Doomed

You by now have heard the story of this family of two parents and sixteen "blessings". And you probbaly have also heard of how they look forward to more "blessings" in the future. Is there any better example of why sex education and birth control (especially abstinence) need to be taught in our schools?
You see this couple, believe that each child is a blessing from God. No, you moronic Bible thumping imbeciles, each child is a product of procreation, with hubby sticking his hard on in wifey's warm and slimy place. Unless your husband is remembering Bible verses so he doesn't finish before you, this is the evil that Christians seek to eradicate from American culture. I don't know which is scarier, that this man intends on running for political office or the fact that if he and his wife keep it up, pretty soon they'll have a constituency.
Now think about this: you're sitting there reading this and you've bred once maybe two or three times, but you knew when enough is enough because you're intelligent and therefore passing on a little bit of that intelligence to your children. Now think about this: ignorant unscientific Bible thumping ridge runners like this are breeding at rates two or three or even five times the rate of intelligent people. Eventually, the country will be populated by mouth breathing droolers who are just stupid enough to buy into that whole intelligent design thing. Soon enough, we will have enough Christian soldiers to conquer the Middle East, create a Greater Zion, and bring back Sweet Jesus to judge the living. Or some such nonsense. Yes, the end of the world can't come fast enough for these idiots, they got to try to bring it on themselves. it doesn't help that we got the biggest dopiest one of these turds in the White House, and hasn't he done a fine job of bungling things up. I tell you, the rapture can't come fast enough for me if it means that we can finally stop having to put up with these pious sanctimonious rubes who think some invisible guy in the sky is going to save us. Who's going to save us from them? Or their many offspring, better educated in Bible verses than cold hard stark reality? What did this guy's parents expect when they named him Jim-Bob? The next Soo-preeme Court justice?
And this is of course why we are doomed. Idiots are breeding at higher rate than well educated people. It's the same the world over, go to any Islamic counrty where some one like Osama has, I don't know, twenty seven brothers and sisters and you could see what lengths one would go to to get Daddy's attention. Hey look! I blew up more infidels than Omar! I think that a worldwide basic intelligence test would be a good idea, where everyone who fails is shipped to Australia or some other stupid country where they can fight and fuck all they want, just do it to each other and let the rest of us be.

A Republican Style Democracy In Iraq

By Republican, of course I mean those unrepublican people who want to limit who and where you can vote, like in Florida in 2000, or Ohio in 2004. The true model of democracy is unfettered access to polling places to all, but to the Republicans it seems that all only extends to all those they've brainwashed into accepting their narrow world view. In 2000, for instance, I lived and voted in a largely black precinct and was forced wait long periods of time to cast my ballot, with only four election officials working . However, in 2004, having moved into a predominately white precinct, and polling at a new location where two precincts voted,there was twice as many election officials per precinct as opposed to the previous precinct, I was in and out of there so fast I barely had time to savor my voting. County clerk and Secretary of State? Both Republican, and it's these unseen little acts that have let a party that represents a small fraction of the way Americans think and feel control the whole country.
Now in Iraq, where people are getting ready to vote on a referendum for their new constitution, one that the US supports, and many Iraqis oppose, polling stations are greatly concentrated in areas where the greatest number of ocupation force supporters are located, while those disinclined to vote for said constitutional referendum are having trouble even locating any polling place. This is how you control the outcome of an election, by controlling who votes.
One wonders if the US is allowing those international voting observers in to monitor these elections, or should we just take these chronic liars word for it when the election turns out in their favor? Or are these elections to be staged, like the telenewsconference from Iraq Bush had last week in his desparate bid to prop up his approval ratings and garner support for the war? Don't expect the truth from the Korporate media,as they're too busy spending their time defending the bloggers against the onslaught of falling ratings caused by those who tell the truth (like, say, there were no WMD in Iraq) exposing them (those who supported and spread the lies and propaganda about WMD in Iraq) for being the Korporate lackey lapdogs that they are.
The truth is that America will be in Iraq for a long time. Our purpose is not to "stop Saddam" or "bring democracy". Our mission there is to ensure the security of the US as the number one superpower in the world by securing the world's oil supply and using the oil to back our currency. This is why we have been threatening Iran and Venezuela, but not North Korea, we only want the biggest oil reserves, everything after that is ours for the taking. The whole US economy is predicated on the abundance of cheap oil, once it becomes too expensive (in terms of dollars, human life is not that valuable to those in power as 9/11,the war and Hurricane Katrina have bore out. We are all collateral damage.) than those at the top face the threat of not only going broke, but the chance that the well armed Americans, no longer numbed by the convenience of affordable driveability, will rise up against those who have oppressed and exploited them, once peak oil takes away their livelihoods.
Therefore, the elections in Iraq are already a sham, a pointless excercise in futility. Like in America, the people of Iraq will be able to vote for whoever or whatever they want, as long as it's approved by Korporate America.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Depleted Uranium and You: What Your Recruiter Won't Tell You


In Iraq, following the first Gulf, 67% of a test group of 251 soldiers had birth defects, but the citizens of Iraq, left in the country where the DU dust mixed with the sand for a longer period of time than the two months the US was there in 1991, the birth defects were greater in number and more severe(see picture).
In returning troops from the first Gulf War, the DU has affected their sxual partners as well, many have developed endometriosis and have been forced to have hysterectomies due to severe health problems.

Now our troops are being expose to it for a greater stretch, with no end in sight for some soldiers. Returning North Carolina guard units have come down with a case of Baghdad Boils , an outbreak of skin ulcers that can grow for years. This has been attributed to sand flies causing cutaneous leishmaniasis, the treatment is an oral drug, Miltefosine, that has been proven effective. However, the soldiers are being treated with intravaneous Pentostam, which"results in a 50% decrease in parasite DNA, RNA and purine nucleoside triphosphate levels", although how a sand fly can affect the DNA is not elaborated on.

Many people in this country are still sporting their "Support The Troops" magnetic ribbons, but the truth is that if you were really concerned about the troops, you wouldn't ask them to wander the radioactive wasteland that Iraq has bcome since the invasion. Not only is DU used in the rounds fired, but also in the armor plating on the tanks that protect our troops from artillery, unfortunately while exposing them to more longer lasting harm from the radiation. In fact, tank crews from the first Gulf War, who often sat on crates of ammunition made from DU have developed rectal cancer(otherwise known as Rumsfeld's Carcinoma, cancer of the asshole).

While the military will not admit to the harmful effects of DU, the fact that they are treating the Baghdad boils with an anti-mutating medicine instead of a medicine developed to treat bug bites shows they are aware of what's going on, admitting to it would only open them up to numerous liabilty lawsuits brought forth by veterans of the Gulf War as well as the Global Struggle Advocating, oops, I mean the Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism.

Cancer. Mutants. It's just our government's way of saying thanks to our men and women in uniform.
(Editors Note: The following was one of my first posts and every once in a while I like to bring it out as it still is timely and still creates a reaction. I first re-posted it two months ago and as I struggle to overcome my nicotine addiction, I thought I would post this until I can get my head together and write again, hopefully tomorrow)

The US military-industrial complex has chosen to use depleted uranium as part of their arsenal in the illegal war in Iraq. Depleted uranium is made from recycled leftovers from the processing of uranium for nuclear weapons, submarine propulsion reactors, and civilian power plants and contains the isotope U-238 which has a radioactive half life of about 4.5 billion years . Used in the first Gulf War, it laid around the desert in Iraq being blown with the dust and sand causing thousands of deformities in Iraqi newborns. Which is okay for the brainwashed, they don't know about, they're not shown it's effects on an hourly basis by the propaganda mongers in the corporate media, so how can it be a bad thing?
Now, DU has been linked to birth defects of children born to soldiers who served in Iraq( . This is just the government's way of saying thank you for risking your ass for corporate America. Of course your slimy army recruiter won't tell you this. His job is to get you to sign on that line, any pertinent information is withheld that might make you reconsider. Hell, they'll help you pass a drug test and forge a high school diploma, these scumbags have no conscience, just a quota. If they did, they might show prospects this article( before they signed up. No one wants to give birth to a mutant, but prolonged exposure to DU will cause that. And fighting the war in Iraq will give you prolonged exposure.
What these brain damaged dick weeds won't tell you either is that if you should die in Iraq, your body will not be returned with full military honors as in other coalition countries, your corpse will be snuck into this country in a shroud of shame because the powers that be who started this war know it was started by a lie. And if you are injured in Iraq, but die enroute to Germany, or in a German Hospital, you won't be counted among the war dead, so in fact your death was for nothing.
These guys are all professional liars, why should they come clean on this issue?

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Everyone Calls For Impeachment, Except.....

The list of people calling for the impeachment of President Bush just grew longer as the Santa Cruz CA city council passed a resolution calling for the impeachment of the president for deliberately lying to send our troops to fight in an illegal war of conquest. They join those already having made the call such as conservative iconoclast PatBuchanan,the Green Party and Vermont Republican House candidate Dennis Morrisseau as well as millions of disgusted Americans the country over.
Democrats, however, have as of yet to make any such calls. When asked about this, one Democratic Senator said, "Well, I'm kind of waiting for my dry cleaning, then of course, I would have to buy new shoes," while another anonymous Senator from New York said, "It's not like there's a stained dress or anything tawdry to incriminate him with, just some official British document that we've managed to keep out of the media."
Others voiced concern that with most people in the line of succession under indictment or investigation, the most obvious successor would be a "African-American female, and we could never live it down if the Republicans got both our objectives in the White House before us, and by our own actions." Still more Democrats bemoaned all the investigations that might dig up some dirt on themselves, not that there is any.
John Kerry, who started a campaign to introduce articles of impeachment in the Senate said:" I was all set to start on several occasions, but everytime I tried, someone yelled 'Skull and Bones" and of course, I had to leave the room."
Americans who hope to see the Bush administration brought to justice are encouraged to vote for the Green Party candidate in 2006.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Bush Accidentally Invades Another Country

President Bush today accidentally ordered the invasion of Kyrgyzstan after watching an Australian Television comedy bit while drunk and assumed it was the real news. The bit featured an Australian comedian interviewing Texans about whether the US should invade Kyrgyzstan even though they show no threat, with the Texans throwing their support behind the invasion 100%.
"Hey, my approval ratings are in the toilet, the war in Iraq is unwinnable, my latest Supreme Court nominee is totally unqualified, I needed some sort of distraction from the fact that I'm completely incompetent,"said Bush today in a news conference,"I'm a war president, everything I do is based on going to war some where. There's still a small percentage of people who will back what I do, no matter how wrong or unjustified. All I need is my friends in the Corporate media to start the propaganda like they did for Iraq, and we'll have every body waving flags again. 9/11!"
US allies overseas were a bit perplexed by this move, with Israel being the most vociferous."I told them to invade Iran, dammit," Prime Minister Ariel Sharon said, "What is that drunken chimpanzee up to now?" Tony Blair said, "I haven't received any intelligence on Kyrgyzstan yet, but I am sure if they don't have it they can fix some up fairly quickly."
Here at home, Vice-President Dick Cheney had this to say:"Who told him he could do that? There's not a lot of oil up there, and certainly no infrastructure for my Halliburton to rebuild once we blow the place up."
Polls taken over the weekend indicate that the majority of Americans support the impeachment of President Bush as well as Vice president Cheney. "I'm unsure of who is next in the line of succession," said one respondent, "but I hope it's not some Republican under indictment or investigation."

Woman Finds Holy Image In Son's Underpants

Doretta Jablonski got a surprise the other day when she was doing her family's laundry. In the seat of her son's underpants she found a stain that looks like the Virgin Mary.
"I immediately called my daughter in and she agreed," says Mrs. Jablonski. "I called up my friend from church Lorena and she said the underwear had truly been blessed." Since then, the neighbors and members of church have been lining up at Mrs. Jablonsky's house to see the miraculous briefs. "My son, Cody, has been embarassed, but I told him that it was truly the work of the Lord."
"I wish mom would just wash them," said her son Cody,11, "I really don't like everyone looking at the skid marks in my underwear."
The sacred drawers are kept in a ziploc baggie in the cupboard above Mrs. Jablonski's refrigerator. She is selling them on eBay where bids have already raised the price of the underpants to $4,238.23.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Robertson Makes More Outrageous Claims Against Chavez

The former Reverend Marion "Pat" Robertson, seen here defecating on Hillary Clinton's front lawn, accused Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez of being responsible for "everything bad in the world." Robertson, who caused a furor earlier this year when he suggested the US government assassinate Chavez after Chavez remained in office scotching a business deal that Robertson hoped to make even more millions of dollars from, said God told him that Chavez gave Osama Bin Laden $1.2 million dollars and a DVD player. He also said that Chavez "doesn't golf, has no rich friends and doesn't speak English."
He also claimed that Chavez is "buying nuclear weapons from Iran," which has no nuclear weapon program of it's own. Robertson also said Chavez sent a congratulatory letter to Carlos the Jackal, is friends with Moammar Qaddaffi and owns a Charlie Manson record. Chavez also, according to Robertson, is a Marxist, a member of the UAW and a sponsor of the ACLU.
"God wants me to be rich,"stated Robertson, "and I can only siphon off so much from my followers before they wise up. I'm praying for him to wise up and step down so that the white minority of Venezuela and I can drain alll the money from the country's natural resources. So far I've succeeded in giving him real bad gas."
When reached for a comment, Chavez only laughed and called Robertson a "crazy greedy old gringo who should spend his wealth helping the poor."

Bush Uses Magic Words In Attempt To Boost Sagging Ratings

After Bush's approval ratings sunk even lower following his poor handling of the Hurricane Katrina aftermath, and attempts to by his army of conservative media apologists to put the blame on the mayor of New Orleans, the Louisiana governor, Bill Clinton, God, or the liberal welfare state, coupled with low support for the quagmires in Iraq and Afghanistan, which he blamed on Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton and Cindy Sheehan, President Bush gave a speech Thursday night in which he uttered his magic incantation in an attempt to prop up those droopy ratings.
Speaking before a handpicked crowd of war profitteers, political elitists and brainwashed true believers at the National Endowment for Democracy, a fascist front group, Bush thanked those in his administration taking time out of their busy schedules fighting to allow our military to torture people to stand behind him as he began the ritualistic ceremony to his Satanic overlord designed to, as he put it, "Get these darned American people off his back" as he struggled to "build a culture of victimization, in which someone else is to blame and violence is always the solution."
Bush then promised to "use modern technology to increase our destructive power" in his "American war on Islam" intended to "enslave whole nations and intimidate the world." We "target nations whose behavior we believe can change through violence. We will never back down, never give in and never accept anything less than complete victory."
Bush says he intends to tell people "what is good for them and what is not," as he "grew up in wealth and privilige" and has the power to decide what is good for poor Americans is that they join the military to use violence, even though he and his supporters, nor their children have to "go along for the ride."
"Our ideology pursues totalitarian aims, with conservatives prentending to be an aggrieved party, representing the powerless against an imaginary enemy." Bush stated that he has "endless ambitions of imperial domination, and wishes to make everyone powerless, except for ourselves. We seek to end dissent in every form, and to control every aspect of life, and to rule the soul itself, promising a future of justice and holiness, while preparing for a future of opression and misery."
"By fearing freedom, by distrusting human creativity and punishing change, and limiting the contributions of half the population, our ideology undermine the very qualities that make human progress possible and and human societies successful.Our grim vision is defined by a warped image of the past, a declaration of war on the idea of progress itself."
Bush's speech was met with thunderous applause, and all circled closer as Bush and members of the Project For A New Amercian Century began their incantation: "9/11, 9/11, 9/11,9/11." The meeting then ended, with most members rushing to meet with their mistresses, while Bush settled in the back of his Presidential limousine with a fifth of Jim Beam and a couple rails of Peruvian flake.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Bush Pulls His Supprot For Iraqi War

In a move that has stunned just about everyone, President George W Bush has pulled his support for the war in the Iraq, siding with his defenders who attacked critics of Bush's recent handling of Hurricane Katrina for expecting the government to rescue them in a catastrophe.
"It's time for the world to realize that Big daddy US of A can't come to their rescue everytime a tyrannical dictator that we supported and armed oppresses them. This is a job best left to local governments, without any interference from the United States government."
Citing more pressing issues, Bush said, "I've got a Supreme Court to pack and keeping the Republican majority to maintain in the 2006 elections. It's time that the world understands that our problems stop at our borders and everybody needs to learn to take care of themselves."
Professional right wing entertainer Sean Hannity, shocked at first, has thrown his support behind the president. "It's time these people learned to pull themselves up by their sandals straps. I can't keep getting tax cuts if the budget deficit grows out of control everytime we need to spread democracy to people who are too lazy to fight for it themselves."
Former Republican majority leader and indicted criminal Tom DeLay (R-TX) stated:" We're just too darn busy fighting criminal investigations to spend the energy fighting battles for people who lack the gumption to look beyond the US for help in establishing their own democracy."
The news was not as good for Wall Street as Bechtel and Halliburton stock prices took a sudden plunge, forcing President Bush to take out a PPO against Vice-President Dick Cheney.
Democrats came out in support of the president as well as party leaders John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, Howard Dean and Harry Reid applauded his actions. "We've always opposed the war," said a spokesperson for Ms. Clinton,"We just kept voting to fund it because Israel wanted us to, and we need to get re-elected to continue to fight to allow corporate America to send more jobs across the border."
There was no immediate response from the people of Iraq.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

US Military Perform Successful Total Birth Abortion

Today there was much celebrating as US troops successfully performed another total birth abortion. This maneuver, controversial around the world was lauded by upstanding American citizens as a "step in the right direction."
Anti-choice religious businessman Dr. Marion "Pat" Robertson said, "That's one head that won't be wrapped in a towel!"
Virtue advocate and gambling addict William Bennet said, "If you aborted every Iraqi baby, I could drive around in my limousine a lot longer."
Conservative leader Ralph Reed commended the baby for "making a supreme sacrifice to line the pockets of wealthy Christian Americans."
President Bush lauded it as, " a step in the right direction. However, there are still many more babies, woman and children left before we can bring the painful birth of democracy to Iraq."
Congress people from both parties cheered as "every successful one of these prevents any members of our family from being forced to do a tour of duty in that noble quagmire."
Israel, however, condemned the baby as a potential suicide bomber, saying "it's going to take a lot more of these before we can really feel secure."
However, not every one was rejoicing. Heaven spokesman Jesus H. Christ said, "God condemns this. As you do to the least of me, you do to me as well." He then went on to say tha"God is preparing more hurricanes to hurl at America until they finally get it."

Monday, October 03, 2005

Once Again, Cronyism Beats Out Competence In The Bush Administartion

The ineptitude of the Bush administration has reared it's ugly head again. This time, it's Bush's most recent Supreme Court Nominee, Harriet Miers. Apparently he learned nothing from the FEMA debacle about appointing political insiders to government positions.
The good news is that the conservatives abhor her because she used to be a Democrat, the bad news is she used to be a Democrat. According to Raw Story , Miers was picked by Cheney after being recommended by Senator Harry Reid, a Nevadan Democrat. Perhaps this was to placate those who bitterly opposed John Roberts on the left, or maybe just another example of how there is no real opposition party in this country anymore, just a bunch of political insiders, having a grand old cocktail party spending the taxpayers money in order to enrich their wealthy contributors.
Perhaps Reid's attraction to her (it wasn't physical, I think) is the fact that she never has sat on a bench, making her overwhelmingly underqualified for the position. Like Bush, she has never written a legal opinion (the most anyone has ever caught Bush writing was a note to Condoleeza asking if he could go to the bathroom), perhaps that's what they want, someone with no real opinion themselves, no paper trial of legal writs for opponents to subpeona, who will vote the way she is told.
Of course, the other cynical thought, is that Bush had to choose between a white woman or a black man.......

Sunday, October 02, 2005

How Do You Feel About The Death Penalty Now, W? or Too Bad You Can't Pardon Yourself

Today, on This Week, George Stephanopolous said a source close to the investigation said that Bush and Cheney were involved in discussions to out Valerie Plame in response to Joseph Wilson's charge that the Nigerian "yellow cake" documents touted by Bush as evidence that Saddam was trying to start a WMD campaign were forgeries. Obviously, whoever forged the documents signed the name of someone not in power in Niger since 1999.
These came from the Pentagon's OSI, whose head, Larry Franklin is involved in the AIPAC scandal where sensitive documents going through his office were being passed on to another nation's (okay, Israel's) intelligence community.
The outing of an intelligence agent is a violation of US Code, section 18, 793 and 794, and is punishable by death or life in prison. Now, if Bush is involved in this, it would mean that the arrogant bastard should go to jail at worst, or have the whole lot of them thrown out at least.
Well, they would be if there was an opposition party in this country, however, all we have is the Democraps, as much under the influence of Israel and Korporate Amerika as the Republicants. That's why this whole tawdry mess will be swept under the rug and no one will be punished for lying to the American people about Saddam's WMD, because Israel wanted the war in Iraq and Korporate Amerika wanted to reap the profits from that war. Now Israel, who refuse to sign the nuclear NPT wants the US to invade Iran because they want to acquire nuclear power, and Israel, who controls our Congress and president wants us to stop it. And if we don't, they will, putting our troops in between Iran and Israel in Iraq right in the way of WWIII. No wonder Bush has started drinking again.
And of course, the Democrats will do nothing either, their excuse being that "Between the arrogance, the indictments and the general culture of corruption, it's really hard to decide where to begin." You want to run Congress, but you don't know where to begin to take out the most corrupt administration this country has ever seen? No wonder everyone sees you guys as spineless, you can't even make a simple decision. "Republicans have no strategy and no plan."Oh, and you do? Republicans plans are right there on the table, it's called the PNAC. Loot the country, enrich your contributors, put the screws to the working people and mess up the economy so bad that anyone looking for a job will be forced to join the Armed Forces. The Democrats plan is obviously to sit on their butts and let it happen. "America can do better."They sure can, unfortunately, you won't find it in the major parties.
But fortunately, the majority of the brainwashed masses have accepted this corruption and inaction as they feel that it's the only solution to the problem, right? It's like sticking with a football team during a bad season because you already bought the team jacket. Next season, they might get better, right?
If there is a next season, that is.