In a move that has stunned just about everyone, President George W Bush has pulled his support for the war in the Iraq, siding with his defenders who attacked critics of Bush's recent handling of Hurricane Katrina for expecting the government to rescue them in a catastrophe.
"It's time for the world to realize that Big daddy US of A can't come to their rescue everytime a tyrannical dictator that we supported and armed oppresses them. This is a job best left to local governments, without any interference from the United States government."
Citing more pressing issues, Bush said, "I've got a Supreme Court to pack and keeping the Republican majority to maintain in the 2006 elections. It's time that the world understands that our problems stop at our borders and everybody needs to learn to take care of themselves."
Professional right wing entertainer Sean Hannity, shocked at first, has thrown his support behind the president. "It's time these people learned to pull themselves up by their sandals straps. I can't keep getting tax cuts if the budget deficit grows out of control everytime we need to spread democracy to people who are too lazy to fight for it themselves."
Former Republican majority leader and indicted criminal Tom DeLay (R-TX) stated:" We're just too darn busy fighting criminal investigations to spend the energy fighting battles for people who lack the gumption to look beyond the US for help in establishing their own democracy."
The news was not as good for Wall Street as Bechtel and Halliburton stock prices took a sudden plunge, forcing President Bush to take out a PPO against Vice-President Dick Cheney.
Democrats came out in support of the president as well as party leaders John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, Howard Dean and Harry Reid applauded his actions. "We've always opposed the war," said a spokesperson for Ms. Clinton,"We just kept voting to fund it because Israel wanted us to, and we need to get re-elected to continue to fight to allow corporate America to send more jobs across the border."
There was no immediate response from the people of Iraq.