Sunday, April 18, 2010

See, I Can Be As Specious As You, Mr Limpballs

It takes a special person to know what God wants, because God wants whatever that special person wants, ironically. Like the good Reverend Fred Phelps. Because God, and Fred, hates fags, that means that US soldiers die in Iraq (instead of being impervious to enemy bullets and bombs). The reasoning may specious, but when your followers are thick headed and dull, you can get them to believe anything.
And that's where religion comes from. In ancient times, any natural disaster could be attributed to a god that was in sync with whatever tribal leaders wanted. This tradition still carries on to this day among the faithful, with the damage inflicted on New Orleans by Hurricane Katrina being explained by the Holiest of a-holes Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell blaming it on god's displeasure with the annual gay pride celebration taking place there. (Of course, when a tornado rips through a trailer park in the Bible Belt, these same people remain silent.) Of course, science has come along to explain why most of these occur, which is why the faithful revile science, because it shows them up as the dopes they are.
Natural disasters and such have always been harbingers of doom. Comets, for instance, have always foretold end times from Halley's Comet to the Heaven's Gate mass suicide to join the spacecraft following the Hale-Bopp comet. Earthquakes, such as the recent Haitian one, were attributed to a deity displeased with the locals consorting with devils hundreds of years ago. Even the recent eruption of Eyjafjallajokull in Iceland is now seen by some as a sign of the end times.
Following in that same ancient grand tradition of high priests attributing disasters to behavior displeasing to them, Rush Limbaugh, he of the Holy Viagra and Vicodin, High Priest of The Party of NO, has proclaimed the volcanic ash cloud from that same eruption as God's punishment for Health Care Reform. Who knew? God wants us all to get sick and die, the sooner we can join him in Heaven. Darn those Democrats for impeding the will of god!! (One could be just as specious and claim it was because the reform lacked any kind of public option) And now, the infamous doctor shopper will find it harder to break the law to get his prescription fix, I'm sure, and that's why his god is angry.
The volcanic ash has prevented President Obama from flying to Poland to attend that country's president's funeral. because, I guess, god doesn't want a Muslim attending a Christian burial service. In fact, all flights over Europe have been canceled, which is actually good for us, since most terrorists flying into this country depart from over there, thereby making us safer from further terrorists attacks. Thank you Democratic Party, and thank you President Obama for protecting this country.


Distributorcap said...

who knew tiny little bankrupt Iceland would have god sitting on glacier ready to protect the US from those nasty socialists in Europe

but Rush cannot explain how one of those nasty socialists got into the white house

you would think all the viagra would keep rush off the air and busy with some of his friends. but no

Lew Scannon said...

Actually, god is sitting on glacier ready to protect Europe from the socialist American, but yeah, you're right.
You think with all that Viagra Rush would get enough exercise to work off those extra pounds, but there he is, fat.

Dr. Kiss Injure said...

Does this mean that all indigenous shamanic and anamist teachings - including - European - are wrong_
Life, indeed, is not conversant in the western logos dominated by schizo scientific technocracy. This way leads to literal Hell, to paraphrase Hugo Chavez.

Lew Scannon said...

Dr Kiss Injure,
Inasmuch as a belief system is a tool used by the elites to keep the masses submitting to their will, then yes.

Tom Harper said...

So God is punishing Iceland for America's sin of socializing the greatest health care system in the world? Why isn't he punishing us instead? The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Lew Scannon said...

As long as the volcano is erupting in Iceland, Bjork is forced to live in the US, thereby punishing the majority of good music loving Americans.

Dr. Kiss Injure said...

¨Inasmuch as a belief system is a tool used by the elites...¨


The US is awash with all manner of hideous PSYOP at the moment.

William S Burroughs did some research on how Mayan priests used symbols which functioned as almost an early form of television in order to ¨control¨ populations. This is not to demonize the Maya (some of the kindest and most accepting people I´ve ever met) or evoke Mel Gibbon - his sham Pentagon hit piece should be obvious to the intelligent viewer.

As you may know, indigenous societies as a whole function in a much more decentralized manner. Turtle Island (North America) had no jails when the Europeans arrived. And now...the crowning achievement of European civilization in the so-called new world: a nearly destroyed eco-system and the children of Sandinistas working for Wal-Mart operated grocery chains.