We Stole The Election And Would Have Gotten Away With It-If It Weren't For Those Meddling Americans

So Iran is accusing the US of meddling in it's election crisis. I can't say for sure, but, yeah, that sounds about right. We've been meddling in Iran for years now, and we probably will in the future. Every time, it's always come back to bite us on the ass, but, hey, if we haven't learned by now, we never will. The US is like the annoying big brother who keeps picking on the weaker and smaller countries, denying it when it gets caught, in spite of incontrovertible evidence.
I think before we start meddling in other countries, we need to fix a lot of the problems we have here. Our health care system is not exactly the best in the world, our education system is crumbling, our political system is corrupt, our economy teetering on the brink of collapse, the only thing we're getting better at is becoming more of a police state, which means we're not as free as we think.
America is devolving into a genetic cesspool full of slack jawed, Nascar loving, beer swilling television watchers who can only spell USA from sheer repetition. We think we're better than everyone else because we're too stupid to pay attention. Television shows us bright shiny objects and we want to go to there.
So load the computer generated graphics, cue the stirringly patriotic theme music, it's time for payback-and this time, it's in dollars.