Thursday, June 04, 2009

It Took A Judge To Decide This

Some people will swallow anything. Like the Rockman said, "You see what you want to see, and you hear what you want to hear. You dig?"
Taking self delusion to an extreme, a consumer in California had somehow come to believe that a sugar coated breakfast cereal aimed at young children was actually nutritious because it offered something known as "crunchberries", and that said "crunchberries" were in fact a real fruit found in nature. Shocked to find out that, no, those said berries were never real fruit, just artificially fruit flavored pieces of gluten and corn meal, she decided to sue the makers of Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries. Next they'll tell us Jean LaFoote was not only not a real pirate, but was an animated character voiced by an actor who was known to wear shoes. Or that Smedley the elephant died from hardened arteries due to downing too much Peanut Butter Crunch.
Sorry, but Crunch Berries contain as much fruit (and sugar) as those plastic gallon jugs of orange drink on the bottom of shopping carts of single moms at Save-A-Lot on the first Tuesday of the month. That someone decided to sue the makers of Cap'n Crunch shows that this person,is either stupid, stoned, gullible, looking to make a quick buck from a nuisance lawsuit, or any combination thereof.
Sanity stepped in when a judge threw the lawsuit out, but now we know for sure: "crunchberries" are not real fruit. And, I assume, soon there will be a disclaimer on every box reminding us of it.

1 comment:

Tom Harper said...

No such thing as crunch berries?? But, this can't be.

Some friends of mine took me on a snipe hunt. Actually, they aren't my friends yet; they're these really cool guys and they're deciding whether I'm cool enough to hang with them. Anyway, while we were out on this snipe hunt (we never did catch a snipe, damn it), they told me to look for some crunch berries while I was out there. So they have to exist.