Monday, August 07, 2006

The Pro-Life Drain Comissioner, Who Mailed The Anthrax, and The Finicky American

The Pro-Life Drain Commissioner
Today on the radio, one of the hosts of the morning show was discussing a pamphlet he received from a candidate for county drain commissioner. At the very top of the candidates list for qualifications was the fact that this person was "pro-life". The host then wondered if that should really be considered a qualification, as none of the decisions that person would be making would affect policy in that area. And he was right, the best qualifiaction for that position would be someone who was aware of the issues dealing directly with the duties of drains, preferrably someone who was maybe more environmentalist, as to keep the shit from flowing into the Grand River.
But this got me to thinking: perhaps instead of voting for the candidate who has the same position on the issues you have, it would be better to vote for the candidate more qualified to make an intelligent and informed decision on an issue, rather than one who has already made up their mind. Of course, what this really means is, the person who has made up their mind on the issues has shown us how they would resolve them, regardless of any new or relevant facts that may spring up on any issue.
Who Mailed The Anthrax?
Of course, right after this, the show went onto ridicule the people who don't buy the official story on 9/11. How can it be a government conspiracy?
Well, the first way, would be for the government to arrest the person who excercised the 'put' options on American Airlines and United Airlines whose stock went down in the days following 9/11. Also included were reinsurance companies, and financial service companies.Basically, these people were buying options on the basis that within a time frame, the price of these stocks would fall. What's more, is that call options, that is, people who predicted the price of a stock would rise, also rose on companies such as Raytheon, a weapons manufacturer. Somebody knew something was going on and intended to make money from it. But who? Since put and call options can't be purchased with out ID, they know who, they just haven't released it to the public, and the SEC went as far as to deputize investigators, making it illegal for them to publicly disclose any information they may have uncovered.
But what's more interesting is the anthrax letters sent to members of Congress and media outlets in the days following 9/11. I have always found it interesting that the recepiants of these letters in the Congress were all Democrats. At first, it was blamed on Iraq, until it was found out the anthrax was a weaponized variety made right here in the good old US of A.
The FBI investigated one man who worked at the lab and wrote a book using a similar scenario, but never turned up any evidence against him. There is evidence of one unauthorized person entering the lab after hours, however this person was never investigated. Will we ever find out who these people were, or is someone hoping that we forget that these incidents ever occurred?
The Finicky American
Today at lunch, while preparing some lime ginger chicken stir-fry, a woman asked if she could have hers with out mushrooms.
"I'm probably un-American for asking for it like that, "she joked.
"No, " I replied "Americans always want things their way." the man standing next to her agreed.
I then imagined a group of American tourists coming to an exotic restaurant in a foreign country, where monkey brains are served right from the skull, a la Indiana Jones. One of the finicky Americans raises their hand at the server and says, "Excuse me, but can I get mine with out any cerebral cortex, please?"

8 comments:

Snave said...

That is a great post!

I think maybe it was the pro-life drain commissioner candidate who mailed the anthrax.

GraemeAnfinson said...

Great stuff Lew!

Peacechick Mary said...

Pro-life drain without a brain? Way to go Lews! Well done.

Kathy said...

Excellent post! If having Bush as president has taught us anything, it's that voting for a person simply because he is pro-life does not make him qualified for the job - and may end up costing more lives in the long run.

Cartledge said...

I've always considered 'Intellegent Creation' dog catchers a good idea.
In my day you only had to be Roman Catholic or a Mason to get into the public service. Opening up the options could really add some colour to life.

pissed off patricia said...

As I read your entire post this little question kept nagging me. What the hell does a drain commissioner do? I have never heard of such a thing. Is this an up north kind of thing?

No monkey brains for me, thanks

Ron Nasty said...

You all are a bunch of insurgents-be proud!

Lew Scannon said...

PoP,
I believe a drain commissioner sets policies that will prevent unwanted sewage and pollution from going into our water systems.