Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Fecal Epiphany


By now you've all read about Marion "Pat" Robertson's conversation with God concerning a terrorist attack in 2007 that will result in mass killing. This from the guy that said God struck down Ariel Sharon, suggested the US assassinate Hugo Chavez, predicted a tsunami for last year in America and has also predicted that Muslims would all find Jesus. Robertson said God didn't say nuclear, but he believes it will be something like that. Because Marion and the powers that be want you to believe that Iran will attack us, so we better attack them first. "Pat" is probably heavily invested in the military-industrial complex.
The man is obviously more deluded than an auditorium full of American Idol hopefuls. As he prognostcated in 2005:
"Well, the Lord has some very encouraging news for George Bush ... What I heard is that Bush is now positioned to have victory after victory and that his second term is going to be one of triumph, which is pretty strong stuff. ... He'll have Social Security reform passed. He'll have tax reform passed. He'll have conservative judges on the courts. And that basically he is positioned for a series of dramatic victories which I hope will hearten him and his advisers. They don't have to be timid in this matter because the wind is blowing at his back, and he can move forward boldly and get results."

Considering George Bush was not successful (thankfully) in his bid to reform Social Security, it's hard to believe him this time. But then, as Marion stated today:
"I have a relatively good track record. Sometimes I miss,"

But you're hearing this straight from God's lips, so how can you claim that you missed? Personally, if God does exist and is speaking to Marion alone, I believe it's because He's trying to embarass Robertson so people will stop sending him money. Even the Baptists are mocking Robertson now, saying he's playing on the established fears of sixty percent of Americans who think there will be another terrorist attack this year.
It's a great scam "Pat" has going. Find out what most people fear the most, predict it will happen, then watch the donations roll in, which you then invest in banks and diamond mines and broadcasting networks.
Funny how God only talks to dollar worshippin' white guys in business suits who are holy like last year's socks. The saddest part are those who are gullible enough to believe him because he says the things they want to hear.

7 comments:

GraemeAnfinson said...

I can't imagine anyone takes him seriously, but some people must

Betty Cracker said...

My favorite prediction gone awry was when Pat said God would send a hurricane to devastate Orlando for tolerating Gay Days and then the hurricane that was in the Atlantic hooked around a rained on Pat's Virginia headquarters instead. If God is talking to Pat, the message is clearly "shut up."

Peacechick Mary said...

Toooo funny - that photo. You made it? I tell you, you are so talented not only in the way you write, but the artwork you use. Makes your whole blog more powerful.

pissed off patricia said...

Hell of an act old Pat has. Sadly some don't see it as an act, they take him seriously. You can fool some of the people some of the time..........

Kvatch said...

Pat's prognosticator cred is definitely headed down. Wonder if I can sell short on The 700 Club.

Snave said...

Nice photo of the Patjob pinching off a hot Cleveland Steamer! It is nice to be able to say "turd" and Pat Robertson in the same sentence. It just.... fits, somehow!

I can safely predict that one of these days Pat Robertson will no longer be with us. I won't wish for that to happen, but when it does happen I think the world will suddenly become a much nicer place.

Kvatch said...

I can safely predict that one of these days Pat Robertson will no longer be with us.

And given that look on his face Snave, I'd say sooner rather than later. Looks like he's gonna blow out an o-ring.