One Way Or Another

They're gonna find ya. Gonna getcha getcha getcha! And by them, I mean of course, those durned Islamofascists who hate us not for the collateral damage piling up in their homeland, but because we are as free to be as stupid as Team Jake.
Or Team Edward.
The point is, every day, they're cooking new ways to overthrow this great "Christian" nation. First, and I realize that many of both my readers are well aware of this, but Texas Republican Representative Louis Gohmert thinks that the Islamofascists are hatching a plot to have terrorist babies in the US, where, thanks to the 14th amendment, they will be US citizens, then they come back in 25 years, after extensive training in an Al qaeda camp conveniently located in the country Israel the US wants to invade next.
Not to be outdone in the crazy department, Sue Myrick, a Republican from Nutty Cuckoosays Iranians are teaming up with Venezuela to infiltrate our borders. Spending six months in Caraccas to learn Spanish, then it's across the border to "do us harm".
Well, that should could and would be the end of it, but no. Now there's talk of the Taliban training jihadist monkeys! That's right! Cute little macacas given an AK-47 and trained how to discern and shoot only American soldiers (because, you know, monkeys are just that smart). We all see monkeys on television. And except for that episode of Gilligan's Island where one got hold of some abandoned Japanese armaments and started attacking the castaways, they are all pretty cute. Not really, but from a distance.
So you might as well surrender now, Dorothy, because those Islamofascists hate our freedoms and want to take them from us anyway possible, no matter how crazy it may sound. Really.