Monday, July 12, 2010

If You Really Want To Piss Off Ahmadinejad, Grow A Mullet

Here's a funny thing. While the rest of the god fearing world is shitting their pants over Iran because of something they have yet to be proved to be doing, Iran has outlawed the mullet. How can anyone be afraid of a country that finds the ugliest hair style ever in the history of man, I mean, after the fauxhawk, of course, or that crew cut that has once again become so fashionable with the people in conservative circles who still have hair, such a threat that they have to pass an edict outlawing it.
I really don't like the mullet either, having despised it from the first time I saw an idiot with virtually no bangs coupled with a long feathered tail in back walking the West Side of GR, worn by some mustachioed ne'er-do-well in a wifebeater. So while I simultaneously applaud President Ahmadinejad for his courageousness in defending his country from the invasion of a hairstyle so hideous, it has become the epitome of idiocracy, I also disdain him. There are few ways that you can tell if a person is wrong headed. Draping themselves in some form of red, white, and blue is one. Tucking their T-shirt into their shorts is another. But the single most doofus-y way to detect a doofus, is their predilection for a bad hairstyle that should have died with the seventies, yet still lingers on in the corners of Real America where people refer to the president as Barack HUSSEIN Obama.
So go ahead, impose sanctions on Iran, you'll only make it's Revolutionary Guards richer and more powerful, but you must admire a country that saw the most godawful thing a person could grow outside of neurofibromatosis on their head and said none of that here.


S.W. Anderson said...

In a world rife with tragedy, poverty, violence and needless death, I can't summon anything but scorn for a head of government with nothing better to concern himself about than what hairstyles some of his countrymen adopt. I see it as yet more evidence of what authoritarian clods Iran's leaders are, whether on supposedly religious grounds or tonsorial ones.

Ahmadinejad should get a life, and let others live one without his crackpot dictates. If the man had two brain cells to rub together (which is probably how he would use them), he'd realize fads like the mullet come and go. The more they're made forbidden fruit, the more determined some will be to have one.

I don't care for mullets or other long hairstyles on men and never have. But as surely as I don't want anyone telling me I have to adopt that style, I wouldn't want anyone telling me I mustn't.

Tom Harper said...

Now now, mullets aren't the only hanging offense in Iran. Women who accidentally reveal part of an ankle -- fifty lashes!

Iranians have their priorities dialed.

Lew Scannon said...

I guess this is just revenge on the French for banning the burqa...
Yes it is entirely silly, especially considering that Ahmadinejad's coiffure isn't very stylish either....

mandt said...

"a bad hairstyle that should have died with the seventies" But dude, Dykes invented that style back in the early seventies and the mountain folk men down South are STILL wearing them! They must be Iranian radicals??..::""