Monday, July 13, 2009

Conservatives Are Funny People, It's Just That You're Not In On The Joke

Oh, those poor misunderstood conservatives. It's not that they're not funny, it's just that nobody "gets" their sense of humor, with the exception, of course, of other conservatives.
Take the wonderfully open minded folks at the Free Republic. Please. When some comments there made comments about Malia Obama looking like a "street whore", it was a joke made out of fear that soon, their daughters, like President Obama's, will be forced to dress like a common street trollop instead of the high-class hookers they want them to dress like. And asking them to apologize for it would be liking David Letterman to apologize for any inappropriate jokes he may have made about Sarah Palin's daughter. Except people actually watch David Letterman. I don't know anybody who would admit to visiting the Free Republic, except to catch updates on the homosexualagenda.
Even funnier is Pat Buchanan, dear old Uncle Pat to some people, which is why I don't understand why no one got his joke about how Todd Palin "ought to take Levi down to the creek and hold his head underwater until the thrashing stops.” Such wit and wordplay going on there! Levi, is of course, Levi Johnston, father to Todd Palin's bastard grandchild, and he made the mistake of actually speaking his mind, which is not funny in conservative circles. And Buchanan, former speechwriter for President Nixon, was probably recalling the good-old-days when political opponents were taken down to the Tidal Basin and drowned on a regular basis.
But by far, the funniest conservative is pro-assassination analyst Wayne Simmons who stated that Dick Cheney would never break the law. Sure, he may commit treason, get drunk and shoot his hunting partner in the face, fabricate intelligence to lead the US into an illegal war, lie about connections between Saddam Hussein and 9/11, and run a top secret assassination squad out of his office, but he would never break the law.
So the next time you hear a conservative reel off a really tasteless statement, just remember, it's just a joke. And don't expect them to apologize for your obvious lack of a sense of humor.
(Cross posted at American Insurgency)


Tom Harper said...

Oh, I get it now. Millions of comedians are just pretending to be a bunch of dimwitted rednecks, and the rest of us have gotten the joke yet.

I'm glad they're all just kidding.

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Kvatch said...

You know... The dude might actually know somebody named "Morans". What are the odds?! ;-)

(And BTW, I don't think that brevity is Matthew Tripp's strong suit.)

libhom said...

Levi Johnston makes a lot more sense than the Palins do.