Monday, March 23, 2009

Television Just Got A Little Suckier

Just when I think television couldn't get any worse, Fox has announced it's intention to air The Osbournes:Reloaded as a series of specials starting March 31. That was worth getting my digital TV converter for. Is this what they plan on replacing Prison Break with? I'm sure I stand alone in condemning such an obvious attempt at trash television, but listen to this! In one episode, a male audience member is tricked into making out with a grandmother for $100. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. How funny!
Can't we make these people go away? I mean, with the exception of Ozzy himself, does any other member of the first family of foul have a discernible talent? I've noticed Ozzy looking a little hunched over these days, is that from carrying the rest of his clan on his coattails?
I'm sure the show will be a big hit, because most Americans are more brain dead than Ozzy himself. This is good for the rest of the clan, who would otherwise be forced to work real jobs where they might be forced to display some humanity. But no, thanks to the idiocracy, they have entered the entertainment offspring entitlement aristocracy where being related to someone even remotely talented gets you in. (Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie work the door)
One segment of the show, sure to be funny annoying is when the Osbournes go to work at places like fast food drive thrus! Wacky! This will proves that they are totally inept at actually working along with being inept as human beings.
This is all your fault. Sure you loved to watch the Osbournes on their first "reality" show, and even bought it on DVD. But when Ozzy put out the CD of cover tunes, it didn't sell as well as expected, and now he's gotta cover that advance from the record company somehow, and this folks, is it.
I know, I know, I don't have to watch it. And I can turn the channel when commercials for it come on during every break for the next week. And I can switch the station when the all the morning radio shows are crawling over each other to play the most mundane clips themselves. And I can ignore the many nitwits who will extol the virtues of such trite and unoriginal programming. But I still have to live in a country where this trash is foisted on to a willfully waiting public who will swallow it clean like some spoodge sucking strumpet.
It's times like these that I wish that maybe Iran did have a nuclear weapon program, (unfortunately, they don't)and there was a major thermonuclear war that wiped out a large percentage of the world's population, because if this is what we've crawled from the primordial muck to attain, then somewhere we must have gotten lost and it's time to start all over again.
But that's just me.


Tom Harper said...

I watched part of The Osbournes once when it first came out. I was bored shitless, partly because I couldn't understand a word anyone was saying.

I guess banal TV is here to stay. I used to have a needy in-law who spent lots of time at our house. He used to love watching Jerry Springer at full volume.

Lew Scannon said...

Tom: I admit I never really 'got' the Osbournes either. Either I was on too many drugs or not enough of the right ones........

Kathy said...

With programs like this, it's no wonder American kids are behind the rest of the world educationally. People like to blame it on schools, but the media shares some culpability. Entertainment can be funny and educational, but The Osbournes don't fit either criteria.

punditman said...

Just watch a decent movie instead. I'm not saying I don't watch any TV shows ever, but movies are about the only thing I can truly handle anymore without wanting to launch something across the room. I've never really been interested in reality TV because as soon as you stick a camera in front of 'em it isn't "reality." But who cares even if it is? Meanwhile, when I try to watch hockey, I am bombarded by insidious commercials advertising kill or be killed video games and kill or be killed army ads. The medium is indeed the message.

libhom said...

I almost never watch the broadcast networks these days. You have given an example of why.