I can imagine it must be confusing for most Americans this time of year. On the one hand, you want to decorate your yard with the tackiest kitsch you can find. On the other hand, you don't want to let your guard down in your love for America, lest the terrorists catch us unaware. Still yet, you want to show your support for the troops so much that you're happy they're spending the holidays away from their family mired down in an endless pointless war with no exit strategy.
Well, forget about all that "Peace on Earth, Goodwill To Men" crap, it doesn't apply to indigenous brown people anyway, and stick the above "Soldier Santa" in your front yard, because nothing lets you say everything you need to say more than an eight foot tall light-up inflatable Santa dressed in desert camo fatigues. See you dirty heathenistic Ramadan lovin' terrorists. We're going to win because we got
And you can sleep better at night knowing that you did your durndest to keep America safe on this the Holiest of nights, right after the Fourth of July.
Father Christmas-The Kinks