Monday, July 09, 2007

Isn't This Guy's Time Almost Up?

We're doomed, doomed, I tells ya.
Everyday we circle the drain leading into that dark abyss from which there is no way out. Our collective society's standards are falling so fast that soon they will crash to the ground like George Bush with a mouthful of pretzels.
It's not bad enough that we worship celebrities like false idols at a satanic supper, it's the celebrities we choose to worship, no talent hacks whose sole redeeming quality (if it could be considered a redeemable quality) can be summed up with "I saw 'em on the tv!" Paris Hilton. Anna Nicole Smith. Clay Aiken.
Surely this American Idol runner-up should be on the fast track to 'where-are-they-now', but somehow he has managed to make a career out of being a no-talent hack. That he didn't spontaneously combust when he attempted to cover Badfinger's "Without You" isn't amazing enough, it's the fact that enough people bought it to garner it airplay on adult contmeporary radio when Harry Nilsson's far superior version is still available. Aiken doesn't have the range or the expressive quality to pull the song off, and if you thought it was okay, then you are banned.
But that's not why we are doomed. Nor is it the fact the celebrities like Aiken think we are here to be their personal footstools. Nor is it the fact that in the hierarchy of the idiocracy our country is quickly becoming, people like William Hung and Clay Aiken get record contracts while thousands of better singers and bands struggle in obscurity only because they're not able to exploit themselves for the enjoyment of people too fat and lazy to get off the couch and go to a club, for Christ's sake.
No, the disturbing sign that we all are doomed is the fact the enough people paid money to see Clay Aiken in a concert. That's like one of the seven signs that the apocalypse is upon us. And we are all doomed.


Lizzy said...

I thought he was alright when he was on American Idol, however I do agree with what you're saying.

And one other thing -- Tag! You're it. See my blog for details (sorry.)

Undeniable Liberal said...

I agree, Lew. Remember the Gong show? Same thing. At least THEY were honest about it.

Aaron A. said...

We keep finding ourselves asking:

How did we get here?

Kathy said...

We've definitely become a "dumbed down" country, that's for sure. We can thank the media and Washington for that. They spend more time on sensationalism and fiction than they do on reality.

Neil Shakespeare said...

I wonder how many people have died listening to Clay Aiken. It's probably more than the war in Iraq. I think he's a tool of the terrorists. Worse than a roadside bomb.

Snave said...

"Our collective society's standards are falling so fast that soon they will crash to the ground like George Bush with a mouthful of pretzels."

Or like George W. Bush trying to ride the Segway (Google images for "Bush falling" for some hilarious pictures!)

"Without You" is a great song. Harry Nilsson was a singer and songwriter who deserves any and all positive accolades he gets, and his version of Badfinger's song is one of the best cover versions ever recorded, IMHO. I like the original and Harry's version equally. Anyway, the idea of Clay Aiken doing I song I consider almost sacred is enough to make me vomit.

I think you are very correct in portraying Clay Aiken as a sign of the coming "end times". I think another sign is when millions of people would rather sit around watching people play poker on television than they would get out and go play poker with friends. What gives? What's the matter with Americans?