Thursday, January 01, 2009

Predictions For 2009

This is the time of year when postulant people post predictions pertaining to the approaching period. Giving that most of them have as much foresight as a nearsighted mole, I thought I'd weigh in with a few predictions of my own:
1. Sometime after January 21, someone on the right will criticize Barack Obama for lack of an exit strategy in Iraq.
2. No matter who Israel provokes with it's attacks, John Bolton will use it as an excuse to attack Iran.
3."Joe The Plumber's" book will be going for free with a venti mocha latte at Barnes & Noble by Christmas 2009, while Joe himself will get his own show on Fox News.
4.When 200000 stores shut down this year, right wingers will blame it high taxes and not the offshoring of high paying manufacturing jobs.
5.Regardless of quality, The Watchmen movie, if it ever gets released, will be a huge hit. If it's good, fanboys will see it five times because it's just so awesome, and if it stinks fanboys will only see it five times, to find minor details to criticize and quibble over.
6. Dick Cheney will never stand trial for his war crimes, treason, or any of the other crimes he directed while Vice-President.
7.Republicans will continue to make racist remarks concerning Barack Obama, and then plead ignorance when decent human beings demonstrate outrage.
8.Laura Bush will divorce George, then die in a mysterious car accident.
9.Gas prices will inexplicably rise to $3.00 a gallon by summer, then fall back down to $2.00 a gallon by Autumn.
10.In spite of government bailouts, the top three automakers will still fail, as there will be no one left employed who can afford their product anymore.

Any fool can make predictions, so use the comments space to leave your predictions, if you please.


PTCruiser said...

Re: #3 ....that's going to be a coloring book, right?

Frederick said...

I predict we will have a Senator Kennedy, a Senator Burris, and Hillary Clinton will have an embarrassing confirmation hearing. Oh, and next Christmas's retail sales will be worse than this past one.

Snave said...

I could see Joe the Plumber getting hired by FOX News as a reporter or a commentator... heh... it would be perfect. I think PT is right on about Joe's book.

I think predictions 1 and 7 will come true.

I'll predict that by this time next year
1) the U.S. still won't have signed on to the Kyoto accord
2) the U.S. still won't have universal health care
3) the right wing talkers will still be trying to connect Obama to Blagojevich
4) the right wing talkers will have cooked up some other kind of "scandal" to dog Obama with
5) the right wing talkers will have cooked up a new scandal with which to dog Hillary Clinton
6) George W. Bush will be living in Paraguay, guarded by at least a thousand troops and not arrestable according to Paraguay's laws
7) The Seattle Mariners will have once again finished in last place in the American League West.


Tom Harper said...

I'm afraid 2009 will be pretty much like 2008. We'll have a more likeable president and better speeches and slogans coming out of Congress, but other than that...

libhom said...

Is there anything that could happen anywhere that John Bolton wouldn't use as a pretext to attack Iran?

I just sneezed...time to attack Iran.

Anonymous said...

"2. No matter who Israel provokes with it's attacks"

Israel has yet to provoke anyone, or attack other than retaliating as a last resort after being atacked many times.

Snave: One thing about Hillary is that she creates her own scandals through her own crimes and outrages. The right wing has nothing to do with it.

libhom said...

anonymous: Israel was bombing Gaza on an occasional basis during the "cease fire." Israel has kept Gaza under siege ever since they got tired of occupying it. Israel continues to occupy the West Bank and Arab East Jerusalem, even though Israel has no legal right to do so and has no business being there.

Israel has done plenty of provocation, to put it mildly.

Lew Scannon said...

Thanks libhom
Israel broke the last cease fire by assassinating six Hamas leaders on November 5 2008. Extrajudicial killing of democratically elected leaders is in and of itself a war crime.