Why, you may ask, and I will tell you.
Studies have proved that intercessory prayer doesn't work, that in fact, God and Jesus either don't have all the magic powers that their followers claim they do, or they really don't give a fuck about humans.
However, Halloween candy prayed over by witches are chock full of demons. So if God/Jesus can't do anything about the demon filled candy offered for free to good little Christian children, they must not be as powerful combined as Satan is on his own.
And if Satan is more powerful than God/Jesus, using the same system used to determine which football team is better than another by virtue of number of victories incurred during a season, that means that Satan is better than Jesus.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I feel compelled to dress up as The Dude and mooch Milk Duds from my neighbors.......