The Free Market Jesus

Once upon a time, a young couple, Joseph and Mary were to travel to Joseph's hometown of Bethlehem, PA for the Census. Because every one else had to travel to their ancestral cities, it meant that there were many travelers, which, because of the law of supply and demand, meant that more people needed to use fuel then was readily available, due to a short supply created by oil companies shutting down refineries, which caused fuel prices to rise dramatically. Joseph, who was a carpenter, was suffering because his cross-making business had been hit with a cease and desist order, because the crosses he built were of design deemed the intellectual property of General Cross-manics, and was forced to pay most of his wages to them for use of their cross design. This meant that he and his wife, who, unbeknownst to him was carrying a child, had very little to travel on.
When they reached Bethlehem, they found that most hotels, motels and inns were filled up, and the ones that had vacancies, were charging much more money than Joseph had left after paying so much for gas, because demand for rooms were up, while the supply of available rooms was dwindling. While stopping at a local tavern, Joseph told his tale to a local bartender, who said he used to have a garage out back they could use, but had sold it because real estate prices had gone up so much, he was losing money using it to park his motorcycle. However, when he found that Mary was with child, he did offer them a spot in the fenced-in area around his garbage dumpster.
While setting up in the area around the dumpster, Mary informed Joseph that her baby was on the way, so Joseph went back and asked the barkeep where the nearest hospital was, but the barkeep informed Joseph that his wife could not be admitted with out any proof of health insurance, which as a self-employed contractor, Joseph did not have.
Meanwhile, a patron at the bar, called the local news station, which sent out a camera crew to film the miracle about to happen in the area around the dumpster behind the bar. The story was then beamed up to a satellite which spread this heartwarming story around the world. Soon, three agents from the East showed up w with much gold for Mary and Joseph if they would sign a contract to endorse their clients' frankincense and myrrh.
The gold rolled in as long as their baby, Jesus, which they had named after the barkeep, was small and cute, but as soon as grew up and became an awkward adolescent, he joined his father in his father's cross making business. Later, as a juvenile delinquent, he got in trouble smashing up an ATM outside his father's temple, and for turning water into wine, putting him in direct competition with the winery that contributed to the governor's campaign fund.
Centuries later, people everywhere celebrated this pseudo miraculous event, by spending too much money, trampling over each other to get the best bargains, and helping multi-nationals bottom line. The end.

Why Stop At The Methodists?

As this congress session draws to a close, another congress is chomping at the bit to set their agenda based on a mandate they feel they have from all the lunatics who were crazy enough to vote for them. And just how crazy are they? Bull goose loony squared is an apt description.
Take Tea Party nation founder Judson Phillips. He wants to get rid of the Methodist Church because they preach that togetherness, and understanding peace and other hippie crap espoused by Jesus, instead of twisting his words to suit their own selfish agenda. Feed the poor? No way! Make them work two or three part time jobs instead.
Not to be outdone, Rep. Peter King has decided he wants to hold hearings on radical Muslims. Because you can never persecute them enough. I thought the Republicans were about saving the tax payer's money, but there's always room in the budget for a little fear mongering, especially with a presidential election not too far away.
Yes, it's hunting season again, and the GOP has set it's sights on finishing the job they started in 2000: getting Americans to vote against their own interests by keeping them in fear of, well, everything different. Especially those which threaten threaten the thing unique to white people.