Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Banned by The Thought Police Nazis At Cracked.Com

I don't know how or when I discovered the craptions contest at Cracked.Com, but one thing I noticed when I did was the lack of funny material being offered up by the readers therein. Most of the jokes were of the FAIL/Lady Gaga/Gay variety, and few, if any, were anywhere near being humorous. Now, I consider myself to be a funny guy, so this seemed right up my alley.
The premise is this: the editors/administrators offer a picture and encourage readers to come up with a funny caption for it. The kind of stuff you may have done in high school, which is reflected in the mentality of many posts. Some people will use a catch phrase from a movie or Monty Python routine, whether or not it actually is funny in this situation. Then, once the phrase is offered, all registered users get to vote on it as being funny, and the one that garners the most votes over a twenty-four hour period is the winner.
The image below is one from last week, along with my submitted craption. Please note that the earlier you get your craption in, the more likely it will win, as the chance for others to see it is directly in conjunction with the number of votes it receives, because the ones with the higher votes are displayed at the top, along with the current vote leader. This particular submission by me was very popular, and didn't take long to rise to the top, where it was receiving the largest number of votes.

When I first viewed the picture, it reminded me of photos I had seen of the showers in Nazi Concentration Camps, where, once the gas was released, the victims would climb over each other to reach the fresh air at the top. Kind of like in this sculpture. So, connecting the two, I made my submission. By early evening, it was rapidly on it's way to becoming one of the highest vote-getters ever recorded. By nine o'clock, however, it was gone, deleted, deemed too offensive to readers who regularly use racist, homophobic and other disgusting words in an attempt to be funny.
What it meant was that the number two vote getter vaulted to the top, and while I voted for that one as well (Rapture gridlock), it didn't ease the sting of my loss. So, the very next day, regardless of the picture, I submitted the following craption
"Yeah, I was going to post some thing funny here, but the Thought Police Nazis at Cracked.Com would just delete it". Once again, it rose quickly to the number two position. And, once again, by nine o'clock, it was gone. But, even more disappointing, so was my profile at Cracked.Com. I had been banned from ever writing craptions, or voting on others craptions as well. I really think that a humor magazine web site would have a sense of humor, but I guess I was wrong. FAIL!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

There's Always Someone Who Has It Worse Than You

Everyday I face the daunting task of going to a job I despise while simultaneously being thankful I still have one. I know there is no bailout for me, when that job is gone, it's gone.
But then I think of those less fortunate than me. Sure, I may have it tough, but I've weathered worse storms than this and survived. It's like Bob Dylan said, when you got nothin' you got nothin' to lose. What can we do to help those whose livelihood is teetering on the abyss?
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Friday, October 31, 2008

See? Socialist!


In a typical display of the socialism that has defined his campaign, Friday night Barack Obama took his daughter door-to-door looking for handouts in his Chicago neighborhood. His daughter, barely disguised as the Corpse Bride of capitalistic democracy as they walked hand-in-hand. Sen. Obama then pleaded with journalists following him to not exercise their First Amendment Rights and expose the true socialistic nature of Obama.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Darn You Katie Couric!

Sarah Palin in the Oval Office! I especially like opening that door! Spinning the globe is fun as well.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Clintons Are Born To Run

Well Ron Nasty is pleased with himself since this got posted here. The gauntlet has been thrown down!

In the day we'd sweat it out in the swamps of a runaway land development deal
At night we'd ride to the governor's mansion with state troopers at the wheel
Sprung from the airport in Mena Arkansas
Cold hearted and perjured, stepping out over the law
Baby DC rips the bones from your back
It's a suicide rap on the Potomac
By now this campaign should be done
Because Bill and Hill, baby they were born to run

Obama let me win I want to be your friend
And maybe you'd be my VP
And if you do, I promise you
Bill will stop acting creepy
I'm in it to win it, I run every minute, looking for the right spin
I'll keep fighting down to the wire
Being the first female president's my obsessive desire
I want to win it while I'm young
Because Bill and me, baby we were born to run.........