The Real Housewives Of The Tea Party

Poor Sam Wurzelbacher! I guess you are not wanted in the new Tea Party, which formed it's own caucus today in congress. To quote caucus leader Michele Bachmann:

the newly formed group will provide a voice in Congress for "real housewives, real farmers, real businessmen, real plumbers."

Not those one-time plumber, now full time metacelebrity wannabes. I just hope that when she says "real housewives" she doesn't mean the reality television show.
Now I'm not saying that the members of the Tea Party are slow, but when you fall for a three year old news story from The Onion, you do come across as gullible. And totally unaware that your movement has been co-opted by the Republican Party and a second rate Howard Beale.

Wait A Minute......We're At War?

If we are at war, wouldn't that make Liz Cheney a traitor for criticizing the president during a war? That's what we were told when we dared to criticize President Bush, by the very likes of Liz Cheney.
And what does Liz Cheney know about winning war? About as much as her daddy, Draft Deferment Dick, that's for sure. All Liz Cheney is, is another generation of entitled spawn of a criminal class more intent on ripping people off than actually making us safer. The main problem with this country is that we have a new class of conservative royalty who spew rhetoric with out actually knowing anything.
First of, the Times Square "bomber" is a naturalized citizen of the United States. that makes him entitled to the same rights as you and I. Including his Miranda rights. And if this new class wants to take those rights from him because they have labeled him a "terrorist", then that's all they have to do to you.
Secondly, General Petraeus has stated the bomber was acting alone. Who are you going to trust? Some loud mouth brat mouthing off about things she doesn't know about all in the name of protecting her deadly father's legacy? Or a general who's in the thick of the fight? Given the fact that Liz Cheney is on Fox News, an altered reality of Republican candidates and talking points, I'm gonna go with the General on this one.
Thirdly, we have been fighting this war against "terrorism" for some time now, and it has yet to be successful. Instead of dropping bombs and unmanned drones on innocent civilians, maybe we ought to examine our foreign policy. Treating people like their lives aren't worth a shit leaves them feeling like all they can do is blow shit up. Of course, this foreign policy was initiated by Liz's dad, you can't tell her this doesn't work, because most entitled people such as her have never been known to admit their mistakes.
So if Liz Cheney's main complaint is that President Obama's first instinct is to obey the Constitution, well them I guess we know here that puts the party of 'NO'. No rights, no change, and no hope. How's that workin' out for ya?

See, I Can Be As Specious As You, Mr Limpballs

It takes a special person to know what God wants, because God wants whatever that special person wants, ironically. Like the good Reverend Fred Phelps. Because God, and Fred, hates fags, that means that US soldiers die in Iraq (instead of being impervious to enemy bullets and bombs). The reasoning may specious, but when your followers are thick headed and dull, you can get them to believe anything.
And that's where religion comes from. In ancient times, any natural disaster could be attributed to a god that was in sync with whatever tribal leaders wanted. This tradition still carries on to this day among the faithful, with the damage inflicted on New Orleans by Hurricane Katrina being explained by the Holiest of a-holes Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell blaming it on god's displeasure with the annual gay pride celebration taking place there. (Of course, when a tornado rips through a trailer park in the Bible Belt, these same people remain silent.) Of course, science has come along to explain why most of these occur, which is why the faithful revile science, because it shows them up as the dopes they are.
Natural disasters and such have always been harbingers of doom. Comets, for instance, have always foretold end times from Halley's Comet to the Heaven's Gate mass suicide to join the spacecraft following the Hale-Bopp comet. Earthquakes, such as the recent Haitian one, were attributed to a deity displeased with the locals consorting with devils hundreds of years ago. Even the recent eruption of Eyjafjallajokull in Iceland is now seen by some as a sign of the end times.
Following in that same ancient grand tradition of high priests attributing disasters to behavior displeasing to them, Rush Limbaugh, he of the Holy Viagra and Vicodin, High Priest of The Party of NO, has proclaimed the volcanic ash cloud from that same eruption as God's punishment for Health Care Reform. Who knew? God wants us all to get sick and die, the sooner we can join him in Heaven. Darn those Democrats for impeding the will of god!! (One could be just as specious and claim it was because the reform lacked any kind of public option) And now, the infamous doctor shopper will find it harder to break the law to get his prescription fix, I'm sure, and that's why his god is angry.
The volcanic ash has prevented President Obama from flying to Poland to attend that country's president's funeral. because, I guess, god doesn't want a Muslim attending a Christian burial service. In fact, all flights over Europe have been canceled, which is actually good for us, since most terrorists flying into this country depart from over there, thereby making us safer from further terrorists attacks. Thank you Democratic Party, and thank you President Obama for protecting this country.